Wow. I’m in my 4th year of grad school and this sounds so incredibly familiar to me. I don’t have a ton of great advice because I’ve never really overcome these issues myself. I worry about the academic job market, competition for grants, professors’ perceptions of me, etc. I periodically fantasize about office jobs and primary school teaching jobs.

I guess the thing that makes grad school periodically bearable for me is that I am genuinely interested in my field (although that is, of course, mixed with disgust, rage, and a range of other feelings)…

I’ve thought about taking a leave of absence to live out my fantasy of non-academic life but I haven’t done that. Maybe that is something you could think about and see if the dream of normal life is really fulfilling? The inertia of academic life has thus far prevented me from trying that.

Sorry I don’t have better advice, just know you’re not alone in the grad school misery.

If you’re really that unhappy/depressed and having any suicidal thoughts, you should really go to your university’s counseling center. Sometimes therapy or anti-depressants can really help. 80% of grad students I know are either medicated or in therapy. There’s nothing to be ashamed about.

good luck.

Why don’t look at the positive things you’ve accomplished so far at only 23. You’re already in grad school with a very difficult major. Your life hasn’t even begun yet. How do you know which job offer you may get if your not even done. It may not even be within your exact field but may pay alot because of your degrees. My advice for you is if you are like me and are just prone to anxiety and depression and can’t help but think negatively. #1 you could make it a new goal in your life to begin working real hard on yourself and decide to change all these negative thougts by telling yourself things like alot of peolple have it much harder than me. There are many people out there who wish they had the patients to study and finish just 4 yrs of college or even get into a good college(unlike you). There are many self help books that you could read or get from Barnes and Noble. Or#2 would be to go to a DR. and have them start you on an antidepressant which will most likely help ease the depression and anxiety and help you focus more on your studies and look at the positive side of life. Also some psychotherapy may help too. Feeling hopeless is a part of depression. Ending your life is not the answer and that’s certainly not what god wants. Life is not easy for anyone and we’re put on this earth for a reason that nobody but god knows. We may or may never find out but one thing I know which I learned the hard way. Worrying so much about what may or may not happen tomorrow will get you no where because no matter what the possibilties or statstics are, you could never predict or change what will happen tomorrow. Best of luck.

There is nothing in this world worth taking your life for. Remember what made you take this course in the first place. And if it no longer is what makes you happy change your direction in life to something that will make you happy and not miserable. Life is to short to work at a job that makes you unhappy. Get involved in something that makes you happy, to advance your career in something that makes your life happy and feel worthwhile. If this is what you are happy in doing you should stay with it. We all feel uncertain of our futures at times, and if you are feeling this most of the time 3 or more days a week then you need to go in and see a doctor about some medicine for depression and anxiety. You could try and see if they might prescribe you something mild like zoloft for depression and has less side effects and works well in low doses, and some anxiety medicine like buspirone that works well to help with anxiety. Please call and get help with your depression so you can get a better outlook on your life, and live alot happier. Good luck and best wishes.

Grad school really does feel like this for a lot of people. However, there’s a line between being stressed out and depressed and contemplating suicide. If its that bad, do go to the counseling center and talk about it. Also, do talk to your classmates. It is so much easier to take this in stride and remember that you’re not alone if you talk to each other.

I went to grad school in my 40s, lived with a roommate (who was 19 when I moved in, but great), and made minimum wage. However, I was only doing a master’s degree and I was absolutely certain that I was doing the right thing. As you’ve already found out, the first two years are bad but not as bad… My roommate (who was and undergrad but pre-med) and I laughed about the nights we spent crying in our rooms. Again, talking about it doesn’t make it easy, just bearable. Whether you talk to a counselor, your classmates, or both do talk to people about this.