I have to admit, I earned 2 college degrees and didn’t attend either commencement (graduation) ceremony—and personally didn’t feel I missed anything.

However, in retrospect, I may have been selfish as my decision to not participate precluded the option for my parents to witness a major benchmark….seeing me graduate.

Do you know why you are so “freaked” by the idea of standing up for the ceremony.

From observing other commencements for friends and former students, I don’t think the other folks in the crowd probably wouldn’t notice you (heck, the don’t even know who you are)…only when you walk up to receive the diploma (and usually its a symbolic prop, not the real one….you pick that up later, a few days AFTER the ceremony), might you stand out….but even then there’s a long line of folks ahead of you and behind you….so unless its a very small graduating class…you still won’t be alone in front of the crowd.

Even if your parents attend, chances of them actually spotting you among all the amassed students would be like going to a football match and trying to pick out your friend sitting in the grand stands on the opposite side of the field. When the graduates are summoned, they approach the stage in a single file (hopefully everyone is still in the correct name order)..and that’s the best chance for your parents to try to spot you…and when you name is actually called and you shake hands, etc….that’s the crowning moment.

But seriously, think about it…..most of the graduates will be similarly attired…..cap, gown…and about the only recognizable part of you that is exposed is your face. Now, step back about 100 meters and how much detail can anyone see of your face….doubt that anyone would recognize you unless they’ve got binoculars!

And then after the ceremony….it will take a while for you and your family to find each other….so arrange ahead of time to meet somewhere.

So my feeling…deal with your fear….which in reality is not based on much fact…more of the unknown than anything. Don’t be selfish like me…the graduation is more for your family …it’s not all about you.

I don’t really regret my non-participation. It’s a passing thought and self-critique on me and my relationship with my family more than anything else. Overall, my life and my career have shed much credit to my family…so it all balanced out. But if I had to do it again, I think I would have bit the bullet and gone through the dog and pony show (pomp and circumstance) for them…not for me.

Hope this helps. Again, congratulations! Go and give your family a chance to celebrate the moment with you!