Doctor Livingstone replied, “(2) Welcome to the jungle. What can I do for you?”

Dr. Livingstone had been in the deepest darkest jungles of Africa for many years.

Stanley said,” I am a newspaper reported and the people would like to know what your doing.”

To which Dr. Livingstone answered,”I’m (1) waiting for a star to fall.”

I”I know that you are running low on supplies and you might be a bit delirious, but whatever do you mean?” asked Stanley.

“I’m not delirious. I’m here, it’s dark. Unbelievably dark. And so I am waiting for a start to fall.”Said Dr. Livingstone.

“(3) Whatever gets you through the night Doc.” said Stanley.

“So what should I write for my readers? What pearls of wisdom do you have to say.”

“Your a newspaper man right? Well you need to (4) write this down, GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!” said Livingstone.

“Dr. Livingstone, you’re here on missionary work. Why do you want to go back so bad?” asked Stanley

“Look, see that lion over there, crouching in the grass?”

Stanley turned just in time to see the lion attack a water bearer. The sound went from (5) a whisper to a scream.

“I need to go north to civilation, can you help me?” asked Dr. Livingston.

“6) We can work it out” Stanley told him.

“We’ll just take our boats, north up the Nile” answered Stanley.

To which Dr. Livingstone asked,”what if the authorities stop us on the way to Cairo.”

“No problem”, said Stanley to Dr Livinstone,” all we have to do is (bonus) Walk like and Egyptian”.

At which point they headed north up the Nile hoping to get out of the African Jungles.

“Welcome to the jungle!” the Maitre D’ yelled.

“It’s saturday night, and this place is hell.

So how large is your party? How many seats will you need?

Your wish is our order, that’s Pizza World’s creed.”

There were streamers on the ceiling, metal stars on the wall

The noise came in sonic waves; I was waiting for a star to fall

“Party of six please, our name is Creame.”

In the din, I had went from a whisper to a scream

“Right this way please,” the maitre D led the way

To an extra loud section marked “Pizza Flambe”

“It’s a saturday night, and the ultra sad truth,

Is we’re fresh out of tables, you’ll have to cram into a booth.

Can I get you some drinks to start you off right?

A pitcher of beer or whatever gets you through the night?”

“Yes, write this down, we want four cokes and two sprites

and six sets of earplugs if that is alright?”

“Sorry, it’s noisy, that’s what Pizza World is about,

If you want a different section, then we can work it out.”

“Just forget it,” I mumbled. “Who needs to think anyway,

But a man could just snap on a day like today.”

I surveyed the crowd, kids ran here and there

and the metallic taste of insanity flowed through the air.

You had to walk like an Egyptian to get to the crapper

Wading through children, confetti, and rappers

Oh Pizza world! Pizza world! Shrine of nightmares!

The weekend hell hangout for whoever dares!

Filled with loud ingrates and staffed by rude jerks

You’ve reminded us all why family night doesn’t work!

OK….time to get a mountain dew from the vending machine….thanks for the brain cramp sunshine!!!….LOL!

my voice rose from a Whisper To A Scream, When i saw that crazy man,in the bushes, trying to Walk like an Egyptian. But he shushed me with a smile as he said “Welcome to the Jungle. I’m just keeping myself busy ,while i’m Waiting For A Star To Fall.

“Dude. ” I said, “What ever gets you thru the Night.” it’s really not my business,anyway..”

“Don’t you want to try it?” he asked coyly. “C’mon, I can tell you how it’s Done. Here, take this pen,and Write This Down.”

i wasn’t convinced.

“But Baby ..babybabybaby.. we can work in out. Come and play with me.”, he cajoled.

“You’re a Nut!” i said. “I mean, i thought i was crazy. but they need to come and take You away!”

and then i ran away and lived happily ever after in a treehouse.

the end.

(line) WRITE THIS DOWN:

Don’t just sit there (line) WAITING FOR A STAR TO FALL, get up and (line) WALK LIKE AN EGYPTIAN and turn that (line) WHISPER TO A SCREAM or (line) WHATEVER GETS YOU THROUGH THE NIGHT. Hey, (line) WE CAN WORK IT OUT, okay? Oh, and by the way (line) WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE.

‘Don’t worry your head with eating lots and getting really fat!’

‘Why ever not?’ retorted ratty, indignant in his tone,

‘You need to do whatever gets you through the night alone!’

At this response, Ratty wondered

If for Rat meat this snake hungered!

He tried to stay calm, not wishing to let

his voice stray from a whisper to a scream just yet,

‘OK’ thought snake, ‘he’s worried now’, beginning to have a ball,

Was this meal to be like waiting for a star to fall?’

Said Ratty, by now a quivering wreck,

‘I fancy a walk like’ (An Egyptian trick he knew to save his neck!)

‘Not now’ said snake ‘Please stay for dinner, I’m sure we can work it out’

‘But I am dinner!’ answered Ratty at a shout!

The moral of this story, you may wish to write this down,

Is not to fall for slick, smooth talking snake-like guys when you’re dining out in town!

Phew – how’s that?

“Come on, baby,” Kyle was crooning. “We can work it out.”

I gave him a look that said there was nothing to work out. We’d been together three years, but we’d been fighting for months and all our problems had gone from a whisper to a scream. It was over – it had just been a matter of time.

My heart broke as I watched him walk out the door – but there was a sense of relief, too. The last week, knowing it was over, had been like waiting for a star to fall. At last the star had fallen and, while there was a little less light in my world, at least I no longer had to wonder where it would land and what might be burned in its descent. I could start picking up the pieces of the life he’d blazed through and left in shreds.

Two months later, my friends decided I was spending too many evenings in my apartment listening to Carole King.

“Girl,” my best friend said the night she showed up unannounced at my door, “If I call you one more time and hear ‘Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?’ playing in the background, I’m going to scream. Get dressed. We’re going out.”

I dawdled while dressing, but it didn’t work. Chela was still waiting. “Well?” I spun so she could give her approval to my outfit, but didn’t give her a chance to say anything. “I feel silly. I haven’t been out on my own in ages. I don’t know how to do it anymore.”

“Stop it,” she rolled her eyes. “You’re young, you’re hot, and that outfit is amazing. You know the rule. Walk like an Egyptian – those ladies knew how to work it out. It’s all in the confidence.”

I laughed. It was an old joke, left over from nights of drunken karaoke in college. The familiarity of it and the reminder of the foolish, youthful confidence we’d had carried me smoothly through dinner. All was well until we stepped through the door of the most popular club in town.

“Welcome to the jungle,” I muttered, observing the various mating rituals happening throughout the place. This had never been my scene and I was so not up for trying to make it so at this stage. I spun on Chela and grabbed her arm. “I really don’t want to do this,” I begged.

“Well, you’re doing it.” She was utterly unsympathetic. “Pretend we’re back in college. Pretend you’re a movie star. Whatever gets you through the night, babe. They’re all easier after the first one back out. And I’ll be with you the whole time.”

Friends always say that, but it never works out that way. Within minutes, she’d hit the dance floor, abandoning me at the bar. I sipped my vodka cranberry, scanning the room idly, trying to come up with a believable reason for going home. I’d just decided to play the “that time of the month” card and hope Chela wouldn’t remember I’d given her a tampon two weeks earlier when he walked up to the bar beside me.

“Whiskey Sour,” he ordered without glancing at me.

No way. “Danny Strang?” I blurted out.

He noticed me. “Maddy?” We laughed and exchanged hugs. Of all the randomness – to run into my older brother’s best friend from high school.

“How the heck are you?” he was asking. So I told him. Lots had happened in the intervening years since we’d seen one another. Confidence overwhelmed me. I was witty, clever, and never mentioned Kyle. When Chela reappeared, I was shocked to discover Danny and I had talked into the early hours of the morning. It seemed no time had passed.

Chela was wrecked and it was beyond time for me to get her home, but as I got up to leave, Danny produced a pen and cocktail napkin. “I’d really like your number, Maddy – and I’d better write this down. I’d hate to forget it and go another ten years without seeing you.”

Trashed as she was, Chela couldn’t resist rubbing it in that she’d been right. “What did I say? It’s all in the confidence.”

She always knew how to make me laugh. “I got it, Chela. Walk like an Egyptian.”

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