Can you write a FUNNY story using these words in the order given?
Silva: “Talk about your ODD fivesomes. …..Sheesh…….
Everyone in this group is crazy except me!! Sarge plays the oddest songs on that trumpet on his.” As if to understate her comment, the notes to “The Belly Dancer Who Stole My Heart” could be heard coming from Sarge’s stateroom. Silva stuffed more cotton in her ears.
“Matt ogles Sunshine all day long and NEVER looks my way! Insulting, to say the least. And Miss Kitty…….. What a pain in the tush she is!! Constantly trying to win Matt back into her arms and complaining every time he declines.
And then, of course, there is Sunshine….A GENUINE numbskull if I ever met one!! She makes the Marx Brothers look like a bunch of shy schoolboys!! GAWD!! I’m the only normal one here!!” She took another swig of her Wheatgrass drink and polished her over-size sunglasses. “Yep! The only normal one!”
Miss Kitty sat down next to her and took out her travel brochure.
Miss Kitty:” Silva….When EXACTLY does this tub lay anchor by that lagoon?”
Silva: “I haven’t a clue. Uhhhh, could you please move? You’re casting a shadow and I may not get an even tan.”
Miss Kitty:” Oh! What a tragedy! Anyway….Back to my question.” Just then the Captain sauntered by. “Oh, sir? When will we get to the Black Lagoon? I’ve read soooo much about the creature that lives there.”
Captain Hermann:” Well….I’m a bit UNDECIDED. We may skip it all together. Many of the guests have expressed their concerns.” A seagull squawked as it dropped a BLOB on Kitty’s shoulder.
Kitty:”And my bad luck just keeps on rolling!”
Silva laughed as she elbowed Kitty. She looked up and saw Matt and Sunshine at the other side of the pool.
Kitty:”OH! MY! GAAAAAAAAWD!! Look at Matt in that suit!!”
Silva looked over. She dropped her container of wheatgrass and her sunglasses fell from her grasp as she stared at Matt’s gorgeous physique.
Kitty:”It was a mighty GRIM day when that moronic hillbilly stole him from me; But I will FINALLY get my revenge once we get to the Black Lagoon!!”
Silva finally pried her eyes off of Matt and looked at Kitty.
Silva:”Huh? What’re gonna do?”
Silva:” I plan on locating the Creature From The Black Lagoon. If I have to rub fishbait all over that damn Sunshine, I’m going to get the monster to grab her…..WHOOSH!!
I can hardly wait to put my plan into action!! Muawwwwww!!”
As Kitty was chortling, Sunshine did a “can opener” off the diving board. The splash drenched Miss Kitty!!
Kitty’s hairdo had come out of the “French Twist” and flopped into her face.
Kitty:”Sunshine!!!! You jackass!!!”
Sunshine got out of the pool, tugged on her bathing suit which had come half off and ran into Matt’s outstretched arms.
Sunshine:”Great splash, eh, Miss Kitty?? HEE HAW!!”
Kitty, mumbling to herself…… “Just wait until The Hee Haw Hillbilly meets her match…He he he……….Hey, Sarge!!! Play a happy song, kiddo!”
Sarge obliged with a rousing rendition of “The Sun’ll Come Out TOMORROW.”
TO BE CONTINUED
Ooh how odd! I thought to myself as I stepped out in the evening breeze. There was a genuine sense of falseness in the way the people were smiling at each other as they walked the streets. At almost exactly, but not quite the same, time every night I take a stroll along the beachfront boulevard. I have made a monster-ous effort lately to get the body-beautiful active and in shape. These little wanderings were part of the whole thing. I was positively undecided about getting gym membership, but since I was turning into a blob I really needed to spread my options for exercise to keep me motivated. I was grim-ly reminded of how getting out of shape can have a deadly result when I read yesterday about a lady of my own age, but 100pounds heavier, and addicted to fast food, died while bending down to pick up the newspaper from her front lawn. Such a tragedy in a young vital life to finally become a news item, at last, in that way. Whoosh! Hey! What th…..an in-line skater almost knocked me over then, amidst my daydreams. I have decided the world is a very dangerous place. Maybe I’ll just go home and have the rest of the cream cake I bought, read the news and resume my fitness drive….. tomorrow.
It was UNDECIDED just how the BLOB could ingest so much Turkey and wine without a mouth. He or she (It’s still not certain which) managed to gurgle out with a burp and a hic-cup that he were thankful he didn’t have to worry about gaining wait.
Frankenstein was out on the dance floor with his newly created bride. She was trying to teach him how to loosen up and do all the latest steps. He whispered in her ear that he was thankful at last she finally made it off the assembly line.
With a rose clamped between his fangs Count Dracula was flapping his cape around and doing a high stepping version of the Mexican Fandango with Bloody Mary as he told her he was thankful for her high quality type B-Negative blood.
The GRIM reaper sat alone at a table in the corner, his scythe leaning against the wall as he erected a castle from his empty beer cans. “I’m thankful there’s plenty of beer tonight,” he muttered to himself.
The werewolf was having a howling good time with the hounds of the Baskervilles. They were harmonizing how thankful they were for good friends to bay at the moon with.
FINALLY with A WHOOSH the witches arrived on their broomsticks amid much cackling and wishes of Happy Thanksgiving to join the festivities, King Kong beat out a drum rythmn on his massive chest. Who cared that TOMORROW everyone would be nursing a monster of a hang over?
HAPPY THANKGIVING EVERYBODY!!!
- Academic Writing
- Case Study
- Critical Thinking
- Education Questions
- Essay Tips
- Essay Writing
- Free Essay Samples
- Free Essay Templates
- Free Essay Topics
- Human Resources
- Problem Solving
- Research Paper
- Review Writing
- Social Issues
- Speech Writing
- Term Paper
- Thesis Writing
- Writing Styles