He who throws dirt is losing ground.

You can always find happiness at work on Friday.

Do not mistake temptation for opportunity.

A woman who seeks to be equal with men lacks ambition. Ouch!!!

The greatest danger could be your stupidity.

He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.

He who laughs last is laughing at you.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

A cynic is only a frustrated optimist.

A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind, and won’t change the subject.

It doesn’t matter. Who is without a flaw?

The world may be your oyster, but it doesn’t mean you’ll get its pearl.

Flattery will go far tonight.

Website: http://www.chinese-fortune-cookie.com/fortune-cookie-sayings.html

And I know this post is getting long but I had to add these. They’re actual fortune cookies sayings that are just plain weird and funny http://www.innocentenglish.com/funny-english-mistakes-bloopers/funny-fortune-cookies.html :

Help! I am being held prisoner in a Chinese bakery.

Confucius say you have heart as big as Texas.

You have an unusual equipment

for success, use it properly.

Because of your melodic nature,

the moonlight never misses an appointment.

You will gain admiration from your pears.

You will receive a fortune cookie.

Never wear your best pants

when you go to fight for freedom.

A starship ride has been promised to you

by the galactic wizard.

You love Chinese food.

Someone will invite you to a Karaoke party.

Don’t behave with cold manners.

Typed like any other fortune cookie:

Don’t forget you are always on our minds.

From the same people holding the prisoner?

What you left behind is more mellow than wine

(for a bathroom?)

There is no mistake so great

as that of being always right.

Never forget a friend. Especially if he owes you.

A tub and a rub will change your day.

THAT WASN’T CHICKEN.

Suppose you can get what you want.

If you’re happy and you know it, and you realy want to show it, if you’re happy and you know it, eat a monkey.