I have a 5yo and a 3yo….so I know where you’re coming from. I wonder if it’s one of two things. Of course, we don’t know your child. She might be exhausted and can’t “turn it off” because she’s trying to stay alert and focused (in which case it might be wise to change one or two of the after-school activities to a weekend day when she hasn’t got something else to do). On the other hand, she might be a very high-energy child who needs all of these activities to give her brain room to grow, and, in fact, she might be extremely bored in kindergarten (or 1st?) and need to move up a level in one or more subject areas to keep her attention from wandering.

As for simple behavior modification, you might suggest to her that a privilege (such as an after-dinner treat or TV or computer time or whatever) will be suspended if she forgets to treat her classroom respectfully. That works for us 🙂

Good luck!

If your daughter is five years old, she is in kindergarten or grade one.That’s pretty young to go in for such draconian measures as suspending her activities – and there is no reason for it as she is not misbehaving in these out of school activities. So there should be no connection between the two events.

But what is her teacher doing? Elementary teachers are trained in how to handle these minor misbehaviours in the classroom. What is she doing to ensure that your daughter follows instructions and talking at inappropriate times?

In case she doesn’t know, you can remind her that positive reinforcement is always, always, always more effective than negative punishment. If your daughter does something well — follows directions — how does the teacher reward her? Talking at inappropriate times isn’t hard to squelch. That’s just rudeness. If the teacher asks everyone to be quiet and your daughter keeps talking, she’s going to be embarrassed. And that will solve that problem.

Ask the teacher to let you know when your daughter does something well — and you can reward her at home with a big hug or a star on her chart – literally. Kids love stars on charts.

But please don’t ‘punish’ a five year old by taking away out of school activities. That is totally inappropriate.

Many children go through phases that try to test their boundaries. You, as a parent, need to remember that you are in charge: don’t negotiate, don’t compromise, and most important of all: don’t give empty warnings. If you say something such as, “pick up your toys,” and you come back later and it’s not done, then she cannot go to theater; she can cry or throw a temper tantrum, but don’t back down. (Even if she does it later keep your word, she’ll remember next time.) Do not cancel her activities altogether, but use them as incentives for her to behave; only a child that behaves can have fun with other children. She will respect you and other adults, you’ll notice a difference.

Does your daughter like these activities? If she does taking them away from her is a good idea. I would not, however, do it all at once. Begin with the one that she likes best and tell her if she does not improve she will loose others but if she does improve she can go back.

If that does not work then try a therapist.

she has alot of extra physical activities she may be having a hard time slowing down for school… I would choose one to drop and find soemthing else you can suspend if actions still happen

suspend her activities? you should allow her to continue with her classes and do things at home that will ensure she starts to listen..it could also be at five you have her doing way too many activities she is doing more than my teenagers do and they have active social lives

You need to determine what her “currency” is…what is the thing that she loves the most. Currency can change from week to week. Take away the thing that means the most (and yes, it hurts…but it’s supposed to!) until she shapes up.

A GREAT parenting site is www.loveandlogic.com

Good luck!