A few days ago
Wayne S

How can I get my 6 year old to try to do his work at school?

My 6 year old son is in 1st grade, he cannot read, and will not try to learn. He is constantly in trouble. His teachers have told me he has pinched them, and shoved on of them. This is behavior he has never displayed before. He is a very lovable child, and works hard on his homework when he is at home. One of his teachers said he crossed his arms and told her he wasn’t doing anything, and didn’t. We had him tested for a learning disability, the teacher said he tested above average on everything except reading and math. She told me his comperhension level was low sixth grade level. All of his teachers agree if we can just get him to work with them at school he would do great. They say it is all behavioral. I have tried everything from taking away privaliges to spanking to totally grounding him. This all seems to make him worse at school. He really isn’t a problem child at home, he is well behaved most of the time, and can carry on a conversation with any adult he meets. Help

Top 4 Answers
A few days ago
hsmomlovinit

Favorite Answer

My guess would be that he’s bored silly…based on what I saw from my son, who has similar abilities. Your son may have better teachers than mine had (I certainly hope so), as they are part of the reason we now homeschool.

He was in a G/T school (the entire school was a gifted program) until he was 6.5 and we moved to another state. We enrolled him in another school who gave us everything short of a written guarantee that they would accomodate and challenge him…yeah, not so much. The first day of school, he came home crying his eyes out, yelling that I had stuck him in preschool, and begging me to homeschool him.

I spoke with the teacher the next day, who told me that he had severe behavioral problems, most likely had ADHD, and WOULD be medicated if he was to remain in her classroom. Funny, he had never shown those behaviors before, either for me or any other teacher…turns out he was bored.

I’m not telling you to homeschool (though you may want to be prepared to look into it, if the school isn’t able to accomodate him); however, if he has the abilities you’ve described, he is most likely gifted or highly gifted. I’m not saying he is for sure, as I couldn’t tell you that over the internet, but those are signs that my son shows…and he has maxed out every IQ test I’ve ever given him.

I will suggest, however, that you do everything possible to find him an environment that is going to challenge him. My son didn’t *test* highly in math or reading at that point, though he could perform algebraic functions in his head and understand a jr. high book. He just plain isn’t the type that does well on standardized tests (we’re working on that). However, if I give him an abstract equation, or a concept to think through, he will come up with answers that absolutely amaze me. He’s a great kid, and he loves to learn…but he absolutely hates to be bored…and at age 6, kids don’t often cope well with boredom. Especially gifted kids, whose minds are going *all the time*.

Are there any other schools around you, maybe a private or charter school, with an excellent Gifted program? There weren’t any near us, which is why we decided to try homeschooling…and while it scared the dickens out of me at first, he’s absolutely thriving…and I love it. We both do.

Are there any G/T programs that young in his school? Or a school specifically for gifted kids? If you’re in a larger city, there may very well be a school like my son used to go to, where the entire school is a gifted program and the teachers are specifically trained to work with gifted kids. He loved his school when he went there, and it’s the first place he wants to visit when we go to that area on vacation.

Whatever you do, just make sure to be his advocate. His teachers might be excellent teachers, but if they’re not trained to work with gifted kids, it really may not be the best place for him. His “behavioral problems” may very well be frustration and boredom that he doesn’t know how to deal with.

Hope that made sense, and hope it helps!

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A few days ago
English teacher
Go to school with him for at least one day, maybe more. You will be able to tell better why he misbehaves for the teachers. If you have younger children, get someone to watch them for the entire school day. Take a day off work if necessary.

Trying to make a plan to fix something won’t work unless you really know what the problem is.

By the way, if he behaves wonderfully while you are there, you will know that at least part of the problem is attitude and behavior.

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A few days ago
Anonymous
I would never spank my child or even ground him just because he is not trying. It’s not his fault. He’s only 6 years old. I think it’s your fault. He’s not motivated enough. Try to be very careful about what you say to him when you start talking about school. Ask him, “What do you like about school?” and “What do you not like about school?” Look for his likes and dislikes, and adjust to his will a little more. Everyday, take time doing his homework with him. Ask him, why do you think 1 + 1 = 2? Why is “knife” pronounced “nife” not “kife”? See what he says. Also, ask him what he wants to be when he grows up. He’s probably gonna say a policeman or an astronaut. Then, tell him how policemen and astronauts went to school just like him to be where they are now. Without education, you can’t do anything. Try complimenting him everyday, at least 3 times. Nice work! Good job! I know you can do it! HE WILL get motivated. Then, wait for him to come to you. He’ll start understanding why he needs to go to school.
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A few days ago
Alleha N
Well your son is probably not motivated. Tell him that if he does his work or you here something good from his teacher that you will give him a suprise or some kinda treat and then he will be motivated to do his work and excited to see what he gets when he does good in school.
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