In addition, I want to spend the money on my needs. all humanity requires shelter, but perhaps an individual who grew up in a wealthy environment feels that such luxurious commondities as spacious homes and extravangant cars is necessary in order to maintain his core identity. In contrast with such a person, I was raised modestly, so, for me, a simple, secure two-room apartmen twith roof which does not leak to rent provides more than enough for my personal comfort. In addition to shelter, financial security is also necessary to pay tuition fees for university and textbooks, which cost nearly a thousand dollars. To possess such financial stability, I need to work in a part-time job every day while studying, which seemingly proves extremely challenging because I have to study hard as well in order to graduate on time. Hence, I am unable to successfully work a part-time job. Furthmore, some students even have to stay one or two years extra to graduate since they don’t have time to study. Therefore, I need money to help me live without worrying too much about expenses. Upon my graduation from college, I would either put the rest of the money into the bank, hoping for good interest rates, or open a small, successful business. If my business is did prove a good investment, then I would endow my money in stocks, hoping toto increase my finances significantly.

ok i edited the first paragraph and now its MUCH better. ill do the other one l8r. btw…whats this 4????

Well, without knowing the point of the assignment, I did the best I could. It’s pretty well written, I’d say. A bit redundant at some points and maybe a bit too formal, but it’s not bad.

Also, I want to spend the money on my needs. We all need shelter, but perhaps someone who grew up rich needs a big house to maintain his core identity. I grew up modestly, so I only need a safe, two-room apartment and a roof that doesn’t leak. In addition, I need money for tuition and to pay for textbooks. It’s difficult for me to work every day at a part-time job, because I study a lot so I can graduate on time. I’ve decided not to work a part-time job since many students who work take an extra year or two to graduate since they don’t have time to study. So, I need money that will help me pursue my education without worrying too much about expenses. After graduating from college, I would either put the rest of the money into a bank account with good interest rates or open a small business which would hopefully be successful. If my business were successful, then I would invest in stocks, which would increase my money even more.

I’m sure you’re not asking us to do your homework for you are you? Try to think about how you would feel, if it were your husband that had disappeared halfway up a mountain? Is this the first you’d heard about his death? Did you ask him not to go? Did any of his diary entries mention how much he loved you? Are there children? There are a thousand different things to consider… Your problem should be how to keep it down to under 100 words. P.S. You might want to run it through a spell-checker before you submit it.. Just a thought