Home-schooling an adopted child – father is a teacher – any advice? Christian point of view important.?
I originally considered h’schooling because I know that boys benefit more from beginning formal schooling when they are a little older. After some research, I now want to homeschool both to help provide strong moral (Christian) grounding for both children.
My husband’s family are very anti-homeschooling giving the reason that although the children might be ahead academically, they miss out socially. What has other people’s experiences been.
I was unsure as to whether to post on adoption forum, but hoping to get some advice from parents who have adopted and are homeschooling on this forum.
Is h/schooling the wrong decision because of my husband’s career choice?
My kids do not miss out socially on anything they shouldn’t be missing out on. We went to the park yesterday with a bunch of other homeschoolers. My kids played with other kids they’d never met before and the way they were getting along and organizing their play, you’d have never known it was the first time they were all together. Making decisions, coming up with ideas, listening to others… all the group work stuff that so many say homeschoolers don’t get, or don’t get with people other than family members.
If you do start homeschooling and you have an active homeschooling group near you, get involved, do stuff. Go on field trips with other homeschoolers. Go to park days. Sign your kids up for non-homeschooling-related lessons (swimming, sports, anything). Go to the library. There is so much out there to be done. I get comments from my mother that she’s not sure why it’s called homeschooling since we aren’t home half the time!
ADDED: I didn’t get the impression that others apparently did that your husband was against this idea. Definitely do not homeschool if he is against it. If he’s fine with it, do not let meddling in-laws stop you from doing what’s right. And I don’t see what adoption has to do with making the decision.
If you and your husband decide that homeschooling is the right decision for your family, that is what matters. Be kind to your anti-homeschooling in laws, but know that you and your husband must decide what is best for you and your family. There are better ways to “socialize” a child than school, i.e., Sunday school, church activities, community activities, music ensemble classes, girl scouts, boy scouts, etc.
The fact that your husband will be graduating as a teacher the year your daughter becomes school age may very well enhance your homeschooling experience. If he is not opposed to your homeschooling, God bless you, him, and your children in your homeschooling endeavor. If he is opposed to homeschooling, ask him why and pray about it. If he is still against the homeschooling decision, it is best not to do it without his agreement. A good Christian school may be an alternative to homeschooling.
My Dad is a teacher with 20 years of experience and he is very supportive of my choice. In fact he is probably the most supportive of all my family members. Most of the teachers he works with are also supportive of homeschooling.
You will find that many parents who homeschool are or have been public school teachers, so your husband’s career choice should have nothing to do with your decision. As for his family’s objections, this is a decision that needs to be made by you and your husband. Just tell them that you appreciate that they are trying to help, but this is a decision that you have made and that you are no longer going to discuss it with them.
Your husband being a teacher can only enhanse your home school. After all he has the education to back it up. It doesn’t make you a hypocrit or something because you home school and he teaches in a public school. You know that in public schools God’s name is likend to cursing and his morals ar forbidden so raising your kids in a home school where they can get a Godly education is important for you as you have stated. .
I think homeschooling would be wonderful for you and your children except for one thing, since your husband is against it, it may cause trouble in your family. The best gift two parents can give their children is a healthy marriage between the parents. If you are going to pursue this then I suggest you do a lot of research and share your findings with your husband, then only move forward if he agrees. (Before anyone jumps on me for “taking the mans side” I would say the same thing if the husband wanted to homeschool and the wife didn’t)
If he won’t agree to homeschooling perhaps you should look into private school.
Hal H. You speak of things you do not know. My children are homeschooled, we use a Christian curriculum, but they still have friends who are not Christian. Do you suppose everyone at Scout meetings is Christian? Do you think that Boys and Girls clubs consist of only Christian kids? Do you think the entire neighborhood we live in is Christian? There is nothing wrong with raising your children to know the Word of God, you can still teach them to love others, WHILE praying for their salvation if they are unsaved.
darcymc when you adopt a child they become as much yours as you biological children, you do not need to check with the adoption agency before making parenting decisions. Also, your tone implies that homeschooling is wrong, and it is not. It is legal and it is a superior method of education, just check the statistics on Homeschooler’s SAT scores and college success.
EDIT:
I answered this question very late last night when I should have sleeping, and I could have sworn I read that your husband AND his family were against it. Now after reading some other answers I have gone back and re-read the question. I see you only said his family was against it. In that case, if both of you are for it then go for it. The in-laws will just have to deal with it.
I have been doing some reading and came across this a few days ago. It is a little about socialization, I found it interesting.
http://www.thsc.org/Getting_Started/NormalSocial.asp
Also check out this site…
http://rescueyourkids.com/
You’d be surprised; we have many home school parents who are teachers themselves, it is not uncommon at all.
We are Christians, and that was definitively a factor in choosing to home school, but most of all its about being able to be a family.
The parental right to direct the upbringing, and education of the children should be first, and foremost.
We choose the content of the materials, set the criteria, and requirements, the time place, and decide on the method according to the children’s individual strengths and interests.
Extended family can however be a either a positive, or negative influence on this.
Do not allow this to influence your decision of what is best for your children.
It is hard for people who are steeped in the ways of traditional schooling to even be open, and consider that there are many other alternatives available.
It is easier to just be opposed instead of educating themselves on the subject.
Your children surely will not miss out socially unless you, and your husband decide not to involve them in anything.
If I would have to list all the clubs, and activities our children are involved in presently, or in the past the only question you would probably have is, “are you ever home”?
My suggestion, after home schooling for many years; having children from pre-teen to late twenties, as well as grand children would be for you to contact your state, or local home school associations and get to know some of the families in their support circle.
You can attend the meetings, and activities; see what is offered so you can make a more informed decision if home schooling is for your family.
The other suggestion would be to attend a state home school convention, either in your own, or a neighboring state.
The conventions offer lots of workshops, and speakers on varied topics from parenting to home schooling.
These workshops can be very informative for new families, and is often a yearly meeting place for veteran home schoolers.
Vendors come to present their curriculum’s, and this can provide you with a sneak preview of what is available for you to use.
There are also many different methods of home schooling, and we use the relaxed, or unschooling approach which is way out side the box even for many veteran home school families.
Some will say that being Christians, and unschooling does not mix, I disagree it works great.
We learn in the way God intended it to be; according to His word.
I will include some web sites for you and your husband to explore if you are interested in getting some more information about home schooling.
We use Christian Liberty Press as our foundation , but are very eclectic in our approach, and the material we use.
http://ebiz.netopia.com/clpress/
Here is a link to all the web sites we post for others regulary they may be of some use in the future, if you decide to home school, or not.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Amt4AFdR9FoYBE7S8NTht9bty6IX?qid=20070818091845AAfSyFX&show=7#profile-info-GRyp79OUaa
Blessings, and good luck.
http://www.hslda.org/
http://www.americanhomeschoolassociation.org/
http://www.homeschooloasis.com/main_lobby.html
http://www.exploringhomeschooling.com/
Christian unschooling.
http://www.home-educate.com/unschooling/index.shtml/
http://www.unschooling.com/
http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/
http://www.youcanhomeschool.org/starthere/default.asp?bhcp=1
http://www.fee.org/publications/the-freeman/article.asp?aid=2438
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HEM-NewHomeschoolers/
http://www.livefreelearnfree.net/index.html
http://www.rethinkingschools.org/
Connect with a local home-schooling group if you can, they usually hold regular social-type networking/play date events. at younger ages, this can be a fun day in the park with 10-20 families, parents mingle and kids laughing on the swings. Slightly older, maybe a trip to the zoo or skate world (it’s a indoor skate park if you don’t have one locally). Learning social skills thru positive reinforcement rather than negative criticisms of correct behavior.
Extra years spent at home can really help instill kids with good values. In the Extra-curricular area, they can learn good manners, and the importance of doing chores, as opposed to at public school they’d learn the importance of wearing the latest fashions and that being yourself is uncool.
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