Hillary Clinton was getting ready to give her speech on “How to create a vile dictatorship.” The crowd was hushed to silence by the ring of armed mercenaries that surrounded them, their rifles on hair trigger. Just before she went on, she realized that she had forgotten to shave. She turned to her manager and said, “Bill, get your damn hands off of Chelsea’s friend and get me my razor!” He looked at her with a lust filled leer and replied, “I am not having sexual relations with anyone! What did you want again?”

When she took the stage, someone from the crowd yelled out, “Mein Fuhror!” Hillary stroked her goatee and then looked him square in the face. “Sir…I’ll have you know that I do not tolerate German in my country. You will call me queen.” The crowd soon started chanting, “Her highness her highness”………and somewhere a baby cried.

Hillary Clinton was getting ready to give her speech on what the meaning of “is” is. The crowd was breathlessly all atitter wondering aloud to each other what glorious light and knowledge she would give them. “Is she ‘is’? …Or, is he ain’t? …If it’s none of your sorry bidness does the meaning of ‘is’ change? …” Just before she went on, she realized she was the one that had been “issed” and why should she have to defend her lousy, cheating husband’s “isness”. She turned to her manager and said, “I’m screwed.” He looked at her ******** and replied,

” Honey, if you had been you wouldn’t be making this speech. Now, if ‘is’ means anything to you, you need to suck it up (sorry) and just get ‘issy’.”

When she took the stage, someone from the crowd yelled out,

“Does Bill make a good ‘isser’?….”

Hillary smiled and then looked him square in the face.

“Sir……… I’ll have you know that I never had ‘is’ with that man in my life.”

The crowd soon started chanting, “Is that wrong?. Is that right? Who’s Bill gonna ‘is’ tonight?.”

Hillary Clinton was getting ready to give her speech on _Health Care____.

The crowd was __drunk______. Just before she went on, she realized __she still had her gay flag tattoo on her cheek___. She turned to her manager and said, “__help me scrape this thing off QUICKLY_____.” He looked __puzzled_______ and replied,

” __but Hillary you ARE gay____.”

When she took the stage, someone from the crowd yelled out,

“__ARE YOU OR AREN’T YOU?______________….

Hillary__blushed___ and then looked him square in the face.

“Sir……… I’ll have you know that ___I am NOT a lesbian_______.”

The crowd soon started chanting, “_Hillary and Ellen sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G…________________.”

Hillary Clinton was getting ready to give her speech on WHAT BILL MEANT TO SAY BACK THEN.

The crowd was WAITING WITH BATED BREATH, BUT THEIR FEAR SOON ABATED.

Just before she went on, she realized ” I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE MEANING OF IS IS. She turned to her manager and said, “IM’ GOING TO KILL BILL ONE OF THESE DAYS.” He looked AS IF HE FULLY UNDERSTOOD HER ANGER and replied, ” NEED HELP.”

When she took the stage, someone from the crowd yelled out,

“IS BILL GOING TO BE HERE.” Hillary GRABBED HIM BY THE SHIRT and then looked him square in the face.

“Sir……… I’ll have you know that IF HE SHOWS UP HERE, HE’S DEAD.”

The crowd soon started chanting, “KILL BILL, KILL BILL.”

Ahh, nothing like a little Clinton bashing to get the day off to a good start.

JK all you Clinton fans, but it was a story about Hilary and that’s what came to mind.

Hillary Clinton was getting ready to give her speech on her successful election to the White House.

The crowd was restive. Just before she went on, she realized she had forgotten to ask Bill to tag along. She turned to her manager and said, “Get Bill before he hooks up with another intern.” He looked around but could not spot Bill and replied,

” I can’t find him anywhere.”

When she took the stage, someone from the crowd yelled out,

“Where is William Jefferson Clinton?”

Hillary not to be thrown off by such a question flicked an invisible stain off her jacket, looking quite unruffled, and then looked him square in the face.

“Sir……… I’ll have you know that he is taking charge of the home front.”

The crowd soon started chanting, “Give us Bill! Give us Bill!! Give us Bill!!!” At this point Bill Clinton ran to the podium with lipstick stains on his shirt and a bulge in his trouser. That hushed the crowd.

Hillary Clinton was getting ready to give her speech on dog love.

The crowd was ugy and smelly. Just before she went on, she realized my pad is wet. She turned to her manager and said, “AGHHHHH.” He looked gay and replied,

” You go Girl.”

When she took the stage, someone from the crowd yelled out,

“BillyBJ Forever.”

Hillary farted and then looked him square in the face.

“Sir……… I’ll have you know that I’m a man.”

The crowd soon started chanting, “We want cigars.”

whilst the gap alien stepped out of the alien craft he glanced on the gang, OMG..He regarded in basic terms like Jonathan Ross on a robust day. A reporter from the solar yelled out, whats up mate are you on the subject count of Jonathon Ross, if no longer whats your call asked a marginally super woman on the front of the gang. The alien responded Yingtang why whats yours. He became donning silver and gold glitter bell bottoms and he jogged my memory of the lead singer from the Bee Gees As he walked to the microphone to handle the gang I unexpectedly had the urge for some jive speaking, he regarded at me and yelled, thank you to bypass woman, thank you to bypass.