A few days ago
RQ

Does this sentence sound ok?

i’m starting a paper with this rhetorical question:

“How do we liberate our minds from the humdrum of everyday life, to which we are enslaved by the illusion of our own grandeur?”

does it make sense? is it too wordy? does it need to be simplified? honest opinions please.

The paper is on Plato’s “The Allegory of the Cave,” so i’m writing about ignorance and enlightenment.

Top 7 Answers
A few days ago
Elle

Favorite Answer

Personally, if I read that sentence, I wouldn’t read another word of your paper. It doesn’t grab me at all. It’s a nice sentence, but a rough intro.

An intro needs to be a question the reader would actually ponder. Like,

“Can we ever free ourselves from the monotony of everyday life?”

“Is today’s society enslaved by an illusion of grandeur?”

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A few days ago
Anonymous
I think that it is an awesome sentence, but it almost sounds like a run-on. If you could cut out some then it would sound better. I think that your idea on “everyday humdrum” is great. If you stuck that in there then it would sound better, yet, I am only but a middle schooler….. sadly
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A few days ago
k-dub
nope, it sounds good to me, but i would change it to everyday humdrum.
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A few days ago
Anonymous
it sounds okay, but i’m not sure if “humdrum” fits
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A few days ago
Rachel
i personally like it. For a school project we had to study shakespear and it sounds like a cool way to word the first sentance!!!
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A few days ago
Jareth’s Trousers
Fine, but I think the comma is incorrect.
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A few days ago
Dragon’sFire
Leave it like it is.
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