When I was growing up, I had Sister Mary Shovel Face in school and you get Sharon Stone, am I right? Here I am always getting the shaft. I decide I need to stop and inhale some brewskis (beer). Into THE DEN I go.

After downing a few brewskis, I venture on to the ice cream store. Of course, Wouldn’t you just know they are now closed. I can’t go home without that SEWER stuff. Now what?

I tried the locked? door and to my surprise it opened. What? Someone forgot to lock it? That’s what you get when you hire young people and don’t check up on them. So, in I went to retrieve a gallon of SEWER ice cream. I , then, went to the register to leave a note for the owner and my money.

“I’m a police officer and you…are….BUSTED!” MY GOD, I throw up my hands and start shaking. But, the beer got the better of me and I spurted out, “Man….You sound just like Elmer Fudd!”

Now, you can understand while I sit in my jail cell with the Ben and Jerry’s ice cream melting on my jeans why I say this:

“And it would all fall under the giant umbrella of ‘Sorry, I was drunk’.” the end