Lady Minerva was SO TIRED of putting up with having to be “the perfect lady”. She decided to let loose and let it all hang out!! She stopped watching her diet, stopped spending long HOURS on her toilette and said…let the real ME emerge!! This is what happened:

She remembered that woman she had met at the spa…..Sunshine whats-her-name. She ePITomized the “be true to yourself” person. Lady M. decided to try and be JUST like her!! She went out and bought yellow bloomers, bubble gum,a guitar, signed up for horse riding lessons and bought a little farm just outside Dodge City.

Of course, she was NOT being true to herself….She was trying to emulate someone else…..BIG mistake!!

The bloomers made her look like Fanny Brice. The bubble gum somehow got stuck in her hair! The guitar practicing calloused her dainty fingers. The Horse From Hell threw her, causing slight damage to her back and eNORmous damage to her ego!

And the farm?……… Well, apparently she bought the place, site unseen……… The piquresque lake described in the magazine turned out to be a polluted cesspool. The barn was lousy with bats and the house looked like the Bates Motel.

Lady M. sat on the front porch of the house, swatted a mosquito the size of her foot and did the only thing she COULD do. She took out a Twinkie, bottle of Merlot and sang “The Sun’ll Come Out Tomorrow” at the top of her lungs.

After two months, Belgian baroque painter Pieter Paul Rubens asked Lady Minerva to model for him.

attractive woman Minerva went to a coarse area of city, favourite to be frequented by ability of “women of the nighttime.” There, she secured the centers of Rose Randall, between the greater infamous women of that occupation. She paid Rose double her ordinary value, and defined to her the plan. Minerva then went to work out Mrs. Hyacinthe Ringrose, a good and virtuous woman with a extreme-minded sense of justice, and an extreme dislike for Lord Reilly. interior the previous, Lord Reilly had additionally propositioned Mrs. Ringrose, and then unfold rumors approximately her whilst she declined to succumb. At his huge-unfold time, Lord Reilly became strolling interior the very busiest area of city, on his thank you to the Dartmouth Gentleman’s association for his late afternoon highball. He in basic terms reached the front of the construction, whilst Rose strolled up and and suggested “i do no longer think you have met my toddler, Lord Reilly. that’s yours!” Rose heavily spread out the blanket from around the face of somewhat one which she became donning — one which in actuality were born to Hyacinthe some months in the previous. everybody on the city observed Lord Reilly’s face bypass ashen. His knees buckled and he sunk to the stairs in front of the Dartmouth Gentleman’s association. It became clean to everybody that he were with Rose, or he does no longer have regarded so stricken appropriate to the accusation. be conscious unfold at as quickly as throughout the time of the city, and Lord Reilly’s days of propositioning and bullying women have been over. author’s be conscious: Apologies and thank you for borrowing from previously questions by ability of Silva and SunnyMac.