Consider:

One of the many scenes that would resonate in my mind is upon going back to India for the second time; longing to learn more about your culture and identity, you want to purchase traditional Indian clothes. The locals seem to find it a bit peculiar that you are not interested in wearing “blue jeans”. It’s ironic that whilst you were trying to become “less westernized”, the people surrounding you were longing for a westernized life.

Ordinarily I would agree with avoiding “you”, but it seems mostly appropriate here, since for an essay, say, you should also avoid using “I”. What is the context? What are you writing this for? An essay, for example, would need to be worded very differently overall. But if it’s for a magazine or something, I’d say it’s fine but then you should consider using “I”. Because it sounds like this is a personal experience of yours.

EDIT: Oh, I see!! Then, of course, “you” is absolutely the only possibility!! Sorry. That’s why context is so important!! In that case, there are only two things wrong with it and they are both neither here nor there, really. The first is that you should say “scenes that RESONATES” instead of “would resonate”. The second is that you need a comma after “culture and identity”. I would still say “people surrounding (or “around” is OK too) you” and “were longing for”, but what you’ve written is correct – it just means that the preposition “by” seems a bit disjointed where it is.

Sounds fine, hun.

Resonate in my mind needs it’s own sentence.

Secondly in the same sentence the very first clause “Scences that would resonate” is a absolute phrase that describes a possible event that could happen in the future, the present or the past: “when you go back.” What you need is the subjunctive tense somewhere in the sentence.

Basically it would be better to rewrite the first sentence, see the next paragraph as to why.

“The locals seem” and “to find it a bit peculiar” “you are not interested” you have two and a half verbs. First you should not say “seem to find it a bit peculiar” because it is a subjective tense where you don’t want it because you have another subjunctive in the first sentence. They either find it peculiar or they don’t. As for having too many verbs, this is easily fixed by changing the verbs to their abverb form and pick one to be the main verb (eg; seemingly find it a bit peculiar) (find is the main verb and seem has been changed into the adverb seemingly).

Lastly there is what editors would call a constructional error, but it is not a grammatical error. Constructional, in that some information needs added information so the reader can understand your main point. Why would the locals find it peculiar that you are not interested, how would they know it’s peculiar? The word peculiar is called in English construction a conditional noun. You have to explain the reason or the “condition” that renders it peculiar to the reader.

In the last sentence the word “longed” should be “long.”

Baskar’s new version and your new version have other new errors. But that’s enough for this editor today. Drop the resonate in my mind, drop the “you return” or “go back” I went to India before. I went back again. I wanted Indian clothes because………. The Indians wanted western clothes because…… That’s the skeleton of your paragraph.

I cannot stress enough that “you” is an incorrect pronoun reference unless it specifically refers to the person you are speaking to, like if you’re writing a letter to someone. “You” is not to be used as a general all-purpose pronoun.

I tried your paragraph like this:

One of the many scenes that resonates in my mind is going back to India for the second time, longing to learn more about the culture and identity and wanting to purchase traditional Indian clothes. The locals found it peculiar that I was not interested in wearing “blue jeans.” It’s ironic that while I was trying to become “less westernized” the people I was surrounded by longed for a westernized life.

“One of the many scenes that keeps resonating in my mind is when you went back to India for the second time, longing to learn more about your culture and identity and you wanted to purchase traditional Indian clothes. The locals seemed to find it a bit peculiar that you were not interested in wearing “blue jeans”. It’s ironic that while you were trying to become “less westernized” the people you were surrounded by longed for a westernized life”. Cheers..

The term “you” should be replaced by the term “one” – as “you” is both informal and direct, whereas “one” is more formal and generic.

Unless of course you WANTED to speak in the first person – in which case, try this:

One of the many scenes that resonates in my mind is when I went back to India for the second time. I longed to learn more about my culture and identity and I wanted to purchase traditional Indian clothes. The locals seemed to find it a bit peculiar that I was not interested in wearing “blue jeans”. I found it to be somewhat ironic that while I was trying to become “less westernized”, the people I was surrounded by longed for a westernized life.

Hope that helps!!

It’s ironic that while you were trying to become “less westernized” the people you were surrounded by longed for a westernized life.

—

the spelling was fine, but the sentence structure was a bit off. I fixed it a bit for clarity.

Is it correct to use the words “I”, “you”, “me”, “my”, “your”, etc. in a personal letter to someone? Yes. But if you start using “my” and “you” in the same sentence or if you use “you” to refer to anyone and not really the person you are addressing, then that can lead to misinterpretation of your letter.

I hope this helps. Good luck.

By the way, authors usually are not too concerned about exact grammar from admirers. They like it that they are noticed and admired, period.