I am sorry about your loss. I understand how hard it is to go on with the everyday things when someone you love dies.

However, as unfortunate as it is for you, I think your professor is doing what he has to do. He does not have a choice. As hard as it is, he cannot make an exception in your case. He has probably already talked to the dean and his superiors about it to see if there is anything he can do, and has probably been told that this is his only option.

Try to get your life back together, which is what we all have to do, and repeat the course if necessary. You can do this. I think you are a strong person and can rise above the adversity life has handed you. Take care.

It does seem fair to me. I understand that your father died, and no doubt it probably stressed you out and affected your focus. However, it does depend on a lot of factors. If you were in such grievance that you had to withdraw from the class or didn’t come, it would be one thing. But you did show up all the time, and you did all the work. From his perspective, you were holding up well enough to continue with your studies.

How are your other classes? If all of your grades took a bad drop, you may be able to make a case for yourself. If the rest of them are all decent though, and only this one gave you trouble, it just seems like you didn’t do well in the class. Did you tell him your situation while you were taking the class or did you only tell him when you found out you were failing the class?

I’m in no way downplaying a sad event, but I think the professor was simply trying to make a professional decision. I doubt he has anything against you.

Methinks not. First of all, if he were truly sorry he would act in such a manner, it would seem that he is just saying this as a formality, and doesn’t actually care about it. While it may not seem significant, this most likely represents a pattern of indifference in his life. Secondly, if he is teaching Social Psychology then he should realize the profound effect this is having on you. Thirdly, he should give you extra credit, just for the fact that you managed to attend the class and do all the work while undergoing this traumatic event. Fourthly, “I hope that you are able to find another way to boost your GPA”… are you kidding me? He’s basically going out of his way to fail you and then he says hopefully you will be able to come out of this okay after I screwed you over. Finally, take this stituation to your Dean/whomever you are able, this seems profoundly unfair and undue. In summation, this guy doesn’t seem too amiable, and I wonder how he was able to become a professor, as his writing level seems to be hovering around the middle school level. At the least he should give you a chance to take the class again. Good luck.

I’m sorry, too; I’ve known friends who lost family during the semester, so I know it’s tough. Unfortunately, I think your professor is within his rights to deny your request. It sounds as though you didn’t inform him what was going on at the time; if you had, he might have been able to work with you to make accomodations. As it is, he can’t determine how much of your bad performance was due to grief and how much was other factors that wouldn’t warrant an exemption.

Note, however, that he said he couldn’t “recommend” a withdrawal, not that he was going to (or even could) deny you one. You can still try going to academic advising or counseling and see if they’ll give you more help. Good luck.

My condolences on the loss of your dad, it must have been tough.

As to your question…

Did you let the professor know what was going on at the time, or did you wait until after the class was over? If you waited, then yes, he is being as fair as he can. Especially if you attended all the classes and did all the work. He would have no idea if your performance was affected by your grief, or other factors, or if you just did poorly on your own.

If you talk to your professors before the class is finished, they will usually work with you to figure out if withdrawing is best or maybe to work with you on assignments and makeup exams.

If you talked to him at the time your dad died, and let him know what was going on and he did nothing, then that is totally unfair.

You can still talk to student services and see if there is something they can do to help.

my condolences on the death of your father

many Universities permit you to appeal such a decision to the Dean [or an assistant Dean].

To be successful, the appeal will have to cite facts and likely be backed up with evidence.

An example of such evidence would be the testimony of a clinical psychologist that you are depressed because of your father’s death and being left alone in the world. Likely symptoms would be inability to focus your efforts [“just going through the motions” of your life], inability to begin or complete projects, significant withdrawal for voluntary activity, excessive/continuous crying, etc.

In my experience, the psychs who use either Process Communication or Neuro-Linguistic Programming are the most effective. Even with their support, “normal” functioning after the death of a close family member is not a “next week” matter.

look for a psych. some universities have a clinical department and thus free services for students. Quality may be weaker though — their students are learning as they go.

Luck to you,

There are a number of things in life that will just smack you of being unfair. Obviously this is one of those areas that screams for fairness, however it also appears that you received the grade to which you were entitled.

Death of a love one is always met with struggle and conflict and I’m real sorry for your loss. Out in the working arena we are allowed a period for grieving and yes it is measured in days not in semesters. The expectation is that once our grieving process has run its course then we are expected to get back up and continue on with our work….much like your professor expected you to pick up your work and complete the course assignments in a passing fashion.

Now you will need to hit the books and pull that GPA up. It is not impossible to recover from an F. Many of us have had the misfortune to receive an F for one reason or another and have had the task of overcoming. Count it as one more of life’s lessons and get with it.

Good luck to you.

He had no choice. He really didn’t have any options. I can tell by the tone that he feels badly about it, but if he were to pass you, his job would be on the line. I too feel badly about your Dad, but just commit the time you need to finish.

Good luck to you.

-MM

you should be able to withdraw or audit. talk to the dean

No that is crap, Talk to the Dean right away. so that he or/ she may give you a more fiar / creditable infirmination