Do you think this is a good start on my Autobiographical Incident essay? what should i do to improve it?
1) What was your life like before the event?
2) What type of person were you – what were your beliefs and values?
3) How did you interact with others?
*(Give descriptive examples and details.
Here’s my first paragraph.
As a child, i was shy and never got into trouble. I would play by myself at parks because i had no brothers, sisters or pets, and was unwilling to make friends. Considering i was only 4 and didn’t attend pre-school, i was still doubtful of how kids would treat me. If a boy or girl tried to talk to me, i would respond in a careless way.
What do you think i should do to improve it?
Favorite Answer
‘As a child…’ you should mention what age you were refering to, to set the stage for the reader / listener. They will identify and relate with that age group themselves, to make your story seem true to them. You mention being 4, what other age[s] are you going to refer to? Can you briefly tell how you changed points of view when you were a couple years older?
Reword the 2nd sentence, try YOUR version of : ” having no siblings, I played alone at the park and was weary of making friends, I was so shy.” [*details: Being uncertain how to behave around others at the age of 4, I responded in careless ways.” [give a couple of examples here..]
In #1: you don’t mention your parents…poor, rich, sm. vs. large town…religious…sports minded…? Favorite relatives, pet, hobby? frustrations because? something? glasses?
In #2: What were you taught at that age? church? divorce? games? how to share w/others? manners? music? abuse? draw? dislike other cultures?
Hints: take each # and write multiple answers. This gives you time to ponder and find the best answers…and you will come up with more things to write/discuss as you write them down. Be sure to read what you write over and over to see if it ‘sounds’ good and correct to you. Good luck!
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