That is a beautiful story.

But, You misspelled some words.

and left out some commas and stuff.

:]

Good luck.

Once, there was a bat who lived on the banks on River Li. By day, he typically hung with his toes clutched

tightly to a limb of the tree in which he lived. He routinely flew at night, patroling the air and feasting on mosquitoes. There also lived a

nightingale in the same tree; she slept through the day as well, but at night she sang. The emperor and his royal court

joined him nightly at the bank just to listen to the little bird. Because the emperor himself came to hear her songs, the little nightingale

became vain and tried to belittle the bat.

“Aren’t you ashamed, Bat?” asked the bird. “Going around flitting your wings, eating those disgusting mosquitoes.

I pity your pathetic life!” The bat did not respond to the bird’s harsh words; he was still tracking a mosquitoe, and once he caught

and ate it he replied, “It’s an important life. IMPORTANT?!”

The nightingale was shocked, so in an enraged, snobby tone, she said,

“My life is better than anyones! I sing to the emperor!” she said proudly.

The bat said, “Without me, the emperor would never have come.”

With a smirk, the nightingale spoke once more in a softer tone, “He doesn’t come for you. He comes to hear me sing. You are as unimportant

as those mosquitoes you eat!”

The bat flew off without saying another word.

The next night, the bat didn’t fly as he usually, but the bird sang more beautifully than she ever had before.

The emporor and his royal court were getting eaten up by mosquitoes, and they became so annoyed with the bugs that they left. Heart broken and ashamed, the

little nightingale apologized to her friend.

“I’m so sorry, my friend, for without you, I would never see the emperor again. I am truly sorry, and you were right. You are important,” the nightingale said.

With remorse the bat spoke in a gentle, soothing tone. “I forgive you. You are my friend, and hopefully you have learned your lesson.”

“Yes, yes I have! I was not being a good friend and I will never belittle anyone again,”

The next night the emporor came back, so the two worked in harmony. The nightingale sang beautifully, and

the bat kept all the mosquitoes away and worked especially hard to catch them when the emporor and the royal court came to enjoy the songs so that

the nightingale could sing.

THE END

****Once upon a time, long, long ago, there was a bat who lived on the banks of the River Li. By day, he typically hung with his toes clutched tightly onto a limb of the tree in which he lived. He routinely flew in the night, patrolling the air, and feasting on mosquitoes. There also lived a nightingale in the same tree, she slept throughout the day but at night, she sang.

****There lived also an Emperor and his royal court on the River Li. His royal court joined him nightly at the bank just to listen to the little bird. However, the nightingale became vain, and tried to belittle the bat because the Emperor and his royal court would come and listen to them.

****”Aren’t you ashamed, Bat?” asked the bird. “Going around flitting your wings, eating those disgusting mosquitoes; I pity your pathetic life.” The nightingale paused and yelled, “Not!” ridiculing the bat. But the bat did not respond to the bird’s harsh words; he was still tracking a mosquito; and once he caught and ate it, he replied, “It’s an important life.”

****”Important?!” screeched the nightingale, in shock. In an enraged tone, yet with a little snottiness, she spoke.

“My life is better than anyone’s! I sing to the Emperor!” she proudly yelled. The bat laughed at the nightingale. “Without me, the Emperor would never come.”

With a smirk the nightingale spoke once more in a softer tone, “He doesn’t come for you, he comes to hear me sing. You are as unimportant as those mosquitoes you eat.” The bat flew off with not another word.

****The following night, the bat unusually refused to fly. Meanwhile, the bird sang as she had never sang before, but the Emperor and his royal court were agitated by mosquitoes feeding on their flesh, and they became so restless that they left. Heartbroken and ashamed, the nightingale apologized to her friend – the bat.

“I’m so sorry my friend, for without you, I would never see the Emperor again.” She hung her head in shame and remorse. “I am truly sorry, and you were right.”

The bat responded in a gentle and soothing tone, “I forgive you. You are my friend, and hopefully, you have learned your lesson.”

“Yes, yes I have! I was not being a good friend, and I will never belittle anyone again!” The nightingale and the bat smiled at one another.

****The next night, the Emperor returned. So, the two friends worked in harmony. The nightingale sang beautifully, and

the bat kept away the mosquitoes, and worked especially hard to catch them. And all was well, when the Emperor and his royal court came to enjoy listening to the songs the nightingale would sing.

THE END

OKAY, read the above carefully, as I have corrected many mistakes, and made the story much better. Where you see four stars (****) that means to indent because it’s the beginning of a new paragraph.

It’s a very nice story, though, simply written. But an excellent read!

Once there was a bat who lived on the banks on River Li. By day he typically hung with his toes clutched on

tightly to a limb of the tree he lived in. He routinely flew at night, patrolling the air and feasting on mosquitoes. A nightingale also lived in the same tree and slept through the day. But at night she sang. The Emperor and his royal court joined him nightly at the bank just to listen to the little bird. Because they came, the Emperor himself came the little nightingale

became vain *you can’t say “became vain”* and tried to belittle *not sure what you mean here, maybe battle?* the bat, “Aren’t you ashamed bat?” asked the bird. *i thought this was the emperor speaking* “Going around flitting your wings eating those disgusting mosquitoes, I pity your pathetic life, not!” The bat did not respond to the bird’s harsh words, he was still tracking a mosquito and once he caught it and ate he replied “It’s an important life.”

“IMPORTANT?!” The nightingale was shocked, then in an enraged tone yet with a little snootiness she spoke,

“My life is better than anyone else’s, I sing to the emperor” she said proudly. The bat spoke, “Without me the emperor would never come.”

With a smirk the nightingale spoke once more softly, “He doesn’t come for you, he comes to hear me sing, you are as unimportant as those mosquito’s you eat!” The bat flew off without another word. The next night the bat didn’t fly which was unusual. The bird sang as she had never sang before but the emperor and his royal court were getting eaten up by mosquitoes. Eventually they became so restless *i think you have the wrong word, you wouldn’t become restless if you were getting eaten by mosquito’s…im not sure what other word you would use though* they left. Heart broken and ashamed the little nightingale apologized to her friend

“I’m so sorry my friend for without you, I would never see the emperor again I am truly sorry, you were right.”

With remorse the bat spoke in a gentle, soothing tone “I forgive you, you are my friend and hopefully you have learned your lesson.”

“Yes, yes I have, I was not being a good friend and I will never belittle *again, don’t know what you are trying to say but belittle is not a word* anyone again.”

The next night the emperor came back. So the two worked in harmony, the nightingale sang beautifully and the bat kept all the mosquitoes eaten up. When the emperor and his royal court came he worked especially hard to catch them so they could enjoy the nightingale’s songs in peace.

Corrections are the ‘**s’ ok? look for the *’s

Once there was a bat who lived on the banks on River Li. By day he typically hung with his toes clutched on

tightly to a limb of the tree he lived in. He routinely flew at night patroling the air and feasting on mosquitoes. There also lived a

nightingale in the same tree,she slept aswell, through the day but at night she sang. The Emperor and his royal court

joined him nightly at the bank just to listen to the little bird. Because they came the Emperor himself came the little nightingale

became vain and tried to belittle the bat, *****”Aren’t you Ashamed Bat?”****(quotation marks) asked the bird. ****”Going around Flitting your wings eating those disgusting Mosquitoes

I pity your pethetic life, not!”****(quotation marks) The bat did not respond to the bird’s harsh words, he was still tracking a Mosquitoe and once he caught it

and ate he replied It’s an important life. IMPORTANT?! the nightingale was shocked in an inraged tone yet with a little snotyness she spoke,

My life is better than anyones I sing to the emperor she said proudly. The Bat spoke, Without me the emperor would never come.

With a smerk the nightingale spoke once more in a softer tone, He doesn’t come for you he comes to hear me sing, you our as unimportant

as those mosquitoes you eat! The bat flew off with not another word. The next night the bat unusally didn’t fly,the bird sang as she had never before

but the emporor and his royal court were getting eaten up by mosquitoes and they became so restless they left. Heart broken and ashamed the

little nightingale apologized to her friend, I’m so sorry my friend for without you I would never see the emporor again I am truely sorry, and you were right.

With remorse the bat spoke in a gental soothing tone I forgive you are my friend and hopefully you have learned your lesson.

“Yes,yes I have, I was not being a good friend and I will never belittle anyone again”,

The next night the emporor came back. So the two worked in harmony the nightingale sang beautifully and

the bat kept all the mosquitoes eaten up and worked especially hard to catch them when the emporor and the royal court came to enjoy the songs

the nightingale would sing.

THE END

thats too much work sorry lol but here

-when a character is peaking there need to be quotation marks before he starts and after the end (which would be the .,?,or!)

-every “mosquitoe” and “nightingale” needs to be capitalized although they are not proper nouns they actually are because theyre characters

I HOPE THAT HELPED

I know how you feel…. I actually had a major embarrassing moment when my sixth grade English teacher wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom and I made a huge mess on my chair that she and everyone saw (definately not the highlight of my life). She never gave me a problem after that (all the other teacher still did), but it’s rediculous that had to happen in order to be able to go and take care of my feminine things. I started wearing tampons immediately after that and I was sooooo happy I switched over. I have never used pads since…. well except panty liners in case my tampon leaked at all. I used to have really heavy periods. You need to either explain the seriousness of the problem to your mom or buy some tampons yourself. I don’t see what the big deal is about using them. It’s not like they’re any more harmful at 12 than they are at 15 or 16….. and they’ll definately make it much easier to go for a longer span of time without making a trip to the ladies room. Using tampons might upset your mom for a few hours or days even, but the embarrassment of going through what happened to me will scar you for life.

You need to put quotation marks whenever you want to make the character talk. You also have some typos you should go over, like some spaces between the word, and simple ones you can find in the dictionary to help you correct them. You have some incorrect capitalizations. That’s all I can see right now in general. But good luck! If you have word you can run it through there for some general corrections.

Sweetie – it’s an exceptionally cute story, but I would suggest you read it out loud to yourself, and then decide which sentences are run-ons. You could also benefit a lot from a spellcheck.

If your class has supplied a text, you really should go through the index or table of contents, and look up the guidelines for punctuation. Learn now, than later.

good luck!

Definitely use your spell checker before you hand this in. There are numerous spelling mistakes (ie. “pethetic” should be pathetic). Your sentences are in fragments. They are too short and it sounds like english is not your first language.

The last sentence makes no sense at all. How old are you?

u need 2 put a space b/w as and well. (she slept as well)

its pathetic not pethetic. use spell check for the other mistakes i found.

i likes the story. n i actually did read the whole thing.