A few days ago
Pinkigal

I need help with my persuasive Writing essay!?

I need to use Rhetorical Question, Restatement, repetition, Parallelism. If there are some error please correct or needs to add, please help me, and if I am missing one of the persuasuve Speech please help me. Ofcourse, I need my conclusion.

Do you think eating junk food, everyday is a good thing? Shoudn’t students have the chance to be healthy? In our cafeteria, we have chicken sandwiches, hamburgers, pizzas, nachos, chicken nuggets, and fries. In Japan, their lunches are healthier than , here in America. In Japan, they have vegetables, rice,soup, and I actually got to experience that. They also, calculate the things are in the food, and they have about 1 hour of lunch, so you can take time eating. I know that some people bring in lunch because they are against the foods that are served. If, this junk food continues this will cause problems to a lot of people, but I know some peple do not care. I beleive we should do some changes about the cafeterian food, to get people healthier.

Top 3 Answers
A few days ago
♥ *~*Tiara*~* ♥

Favorite Answer

well there’s too many commas… i think but other than that it sounds good.
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A few days ago
Shima42
All of the foods you mentioned can be prepared in healthy ways. To be persuasive, you have to have your facts straight. Cite ingredients, not dishes, and cite articles claiming those ingredients IN THOSE AMOUNTS are unhealthy. You use commas WAY too much. Look up comma rules. Your parallel thought about the Japanese is good, but can you cite at least one scientific article that gives well-correlated data that suggests that Japanese food IS actually better for you? Finally, you should never ask your audience questions overtly. Use phrases like, “Scientists have been testing…” or, “Recent data has brought to light the need for…” except put it in terms of YOUR experience.
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A few days ago
Near
A junk food diet is common in this generation, but would consuming such products on a daily basis become a danger to out health? It’s the individual’s choice to decide what’s right for them, but shouldn’t we be told what’s right? Because of our cafeteria’s choice over cheaper-to-prepare fast food;(then name some foods)…

Helped you reword some stuff there but you got the idea, don’t have to write it word for word but reference it.

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