Why not use all the emotions you are feeling to write a song or poem with your dad in mind maybe give him to him before his surgery. Keep writing and if you write lyrics if you don’t already try learning piano or guitar something so you can write music to your songs as its the best way to get a publishing deal.

At his point there are some things that you can do for your father. Do not show him that you are sad, Be upbeat. Visit him whenever you can in the hospital. Prey for him if either of you is religious. He will be happy to see you. Bring him a small gift, perhaps some favorite food if it is allowed. I am sure that he would appreciate a hand drawn get well card from you.

I understand that this is a very difficult time for you but you need to be brave, You should also talk over your concerns with perhaps a relative and see your school counselor. He may recommend more help for you.

Good luck to you and to your father.