Have you stopped to think about the idea that maybe kids inpublic school seem more mature because they are really forced to grow up faster because of peers and peer pressure? Many of them are already having sex, smoking and doing drugs, just to be cool. It is ok to goof off and be silly, you are still a kid, enjoy it while you can. As long as nothing inappropriate is going on I would just enjoy my friends. You will have plenty of time to act grown-up and be mature when you are an adult. I am glad to see you are involved in church and home school groups.

It really seems to me that you are the immature one here by judging and being extremly critical of your friends. You must stop and ask yourself if you are truly being the best friend you should be and if not how YOU can help the situation. No one wants to be friends with someone who thinks of them as immature and boring. If the naughty ways(parties, sex, drugs, gossiping, cliques, popularity clubs) of the typical public schooler is what thrills you, then you have your agenda all wrong!

Perhaps you can take classes at a homeschooling co-cop or join a homeschool club, homeschool band, etc.

You say that your friends are very immature, because they have been homeschooled for most of their lives. I think, perhaps, they are not immature, but maybe more wholesome and innocent, because they have not been exposed to the public school culture. Part of having meaningful friendships is accepting people for who they are and not what we want them to be.

Also, friendships do not have to be with someone your age. If you have an area of career interest, you might want to seek out a mentor–who by the way, usually becomes a lifelong friend. Volunteering is another way to meet people.

Also, If you live in a fairly large city, many park districts have teen clubs, sports clubs, and other activities that you can be a part of that don’t cost a lot of money.

I hope this is helpful.

Wow, you kind of have a superiority complex. How can you, as a homeschooler, still conform to the stereotypes you learned in public school? When you say “most homeschoolers tend to be. . . ” you are just feeding into a pattern that wouldn’t be acceptable if you said “most girls tend to be. . . ” or “most black people tend to be. . . ” so why do you get to judge all homeschoolers based on stereotypes?

With that said, most school districts will allow home school students to participate in extracurricular activities. (since your parents pay school taxes they really don’t have much choice) so you could join the band or the orchestra, or maybe an athletic team.

Check out your local library and see if they have a teen program. Many do, and you could meet other people there with pretty varied interests.

At 16 there should be a local community college where you could take escrow classes. This would give you a taste of college and get you around a new group of people.

Your job will allow you to meet new people, but be cautious about building out of work relationships with people from there since workplace politics can be hazardous to your health.

One big advantage homeschoolers have over public school students is that you do get to have a more diverse primary social group. You don’t find yourself confined to only being with people your own age, so look at people as individuals and try to cultivate relationships with a wide variety of age groups based more on common interests than chronology. This is huge when you find yourself in the real world.

Homeschooled kids in our town have their own physical education group – they are a large group and go swimming, do gymnastics, skiing or whatever is available

look for community sponsored folk dancing, intramural soccer, and other similar sports.

read books to kids at the library – they have older siblings to meet.

a lot of home school kids also take classes at our high school – such as foreign language, PE, and advanced classes that their parents can’t teach. the school district encourages it because they get a little money for it.

depending on how close you are to graduating HS, you may be able to enroll in a college class or two – and if you can’t, check out the bulletin boards, study in their library – you’ll run into people there.

find a friend and hang out at the mall?

good luck – and keep studying

Join various clubs that interest you. Many book stores have reading clubs. Camera shops might put you in touch with a photography club. Talk to the public librarian about information concerning clubs in your area. You will meet people of all ages. If you town has a community center, they will have plenty of groups meeting there.

Enroll in a class at the community college. Hang out there. Many different activities with young mature adults. Just avoid the immature ones.

Volunteer at the zoo, museum, animal rehab center, whatever is your interest.

Friendships are not always made with people your own age. You can become friends with an elder person at the old folks home. They have lots of good stories to tell, and they will really enjoy listening to you, too.

I think your first problem is your perception of and attitude about others. As long as you are seeing yourself as sooo mature and all these other kids aren’t, you are going to have problems making friends–you will be constantly on the ready to judge if they are mature enough or not for you. I actually find it rather odd that you find homeschoolers immature as the homeschooled teens I know are vastly more mature than most of the public schooled teens I’ve encountered. Are the homeschoolers you’ve been meeting the type who *have* been sheltered away? If so, seek out different homeschool groups–there are probably some out there who have not been that sheltered. Please do not assume that because kids have been homeschooled all their lives it means that they are sheltered and immature because it’s not always the case.

Other than seeking out different homeschoolers (which will be your main way to do things with others during the school day), find out about volunteer opportunities for teens, look into community classes (here, our rec centres offer different types of classes, not just exercise classes, but many are aimed strictly at teens; the school boards also have classes that aren’t just extra-help type classes) and even a part-time job where there are other teens working (like fast-food restaurants or grocery stores).

ADDED:

“that’s 7-8 hours a day you’re spending at HOME” Therein lies your preconceived notions, perhaps based on how you are homeschooled. Most homeschoolers I know do NOT spend their days at home the way a public schooled child spends time at school. Many complain of being out too much. We are out usually 3 afternoons a week. Even if we were home all the time, it doesn’t mean that my kids would be sheltered as there is sooo much that can be discussed and learned about. And sheltered doesn’t mean immature, either, so again, you are associating things that don’t have any particular relation with each other.

I still stick to my admonition of you checking your attitude. I don’t see how someone can be a ‘good friend’ yet you find them immature and you are ‘getting sick of them’. Imagine how they’d feel if they knew you were not only thinking about them like that, but heard what you’ve told us? How would *you* feel if one of your ‘good friends’ was saying that about you? To be honest, I find your general attitude and thinking very immature, the very thing you are complaining about in others. It is bordering on snobbishness.

Like others here I think you are going to have trouble making friends if everyone else is so “immature” for you.

However, if you are looking for new people, go volunteer, find a job. Do some good work for someone else and you may find you feel better about yourself and you may find friends with the same interests as you.

Added:

Oh sweetheart – do you really think “home”schoolers stay home 7-8 hours every day and don’t have anything to do with other kids? My goodness I wish I could.

This is a short list of things my kids are involved in:

fencing lessons (swords)

golf lessons

swimming lessons

gym class

hs band

dance class

film school

extras in films

acting in musicals

archery

That’s just what I can think of off the top of my head. Very few hs kids actually stay at home a lot. They tend to be very involved in the community.

Some states and school districts will let homeschooled students “enroll” in a public school for such classes a physical education, driver’s education, and other “non-core” classes. You might look into that – it would be a great way to meet kids from your area.

I’ve actually found the exact opposite to be true. I have found more maturity in homeschooled students than in publicschool students, but that is just an observation based on my own personal experience and not meant to be an across the board thing.

Now, since you are a church attender, let me give you some advice that perhaps you can understand.

Make a decision to see people through God’s eyes and not your own. If you believe in God, and you believe the Bible, then you have to believe that each person is precious in His sight, created for a purpose, whether they believe it or not.

Every time you begin to be judgmental towards someone, stop and say “Lord, help me to see this person the way you see them, and help me to not judge them.”

Change your perception and you will meet new people.

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