It seems ok. Though it doesn’t seem to have any purpose, or focus. What is the essay suppose to be out?

I’m a little confused at the beginning you say do not use any huge words because it has to sound like an 8the grader wrote it. however, at the end you say aren’t you impressed with my extensive vocabulary so the two somewhat contradicts themselves. other then that i hated it to be honest with you, it was crap sorry if i offended you but that’s how i feel about it. you go from saying i never said a word then i was borne, you should say you were born first and then say i never spoke, not the other way around. also you switch so may times from past present past present. you go from saying i was borne, then talking about Clinton then your brother was borne then Clinton again. and going on a tangent I’m surprised That at an 8Th grader knows about Clinton stopping cloning, that’s a very insignificant detail. I’m sorry but i cant even read the rest of this it is that bad, if i was the teacher i would just fail it after the third paragraph. i assume That you are not a 8Th grader so lets say that you are a parent, if you are witting this to help your kid out because she cant wright then if this is how you write, i cant imagine how she writes.

Presidential scandals? Milestones? Not written by an 8th grader. Are you the kid’s parent or something?

im guessing its supose to be like a timeline of some sort of your life. and if it is…. leave out clinton..no one likes him (although hes better than bush…. he still sucked) -well his assistant did anyway =)

you should make it more about you… but id give it a c …. if that.

OMG THIS ESSAY IS REALLY GOOD!

is this for a grade or something? i would definately give it an A+!

can’t say that the essay was really that interesting.

work on it before you turn it in