How about doing your own homework so that you will actually learn something?

Are you going to ask if you can use Yahoo Answers during one of your tests, as well?

My dad has taught me that some things only seem improbable when in fact they are not. With the right amount of desire, confidence, and mental toughness I have learned that most things can be realized…I have used my dad’s mentality to succeed in many aspects of my life, including high school and college.

Before departing to India, I raised money and collected eyeglasses. The money was used to cover the cost of the cataract surgeries that were provided for the Indians for free.

The first passage about your dad sounds fine.

I would write the second sentence like this:

I raised money and collected eyeglasses before departing to India. The money was used to cover the cost of the cataract surgeries that were provided for the Indians AT NO COST TO THEM, rather than FOR THE INDIANS FOR FREE.

Hope that helps.

I have adopted the strategies that helped to ensure the success of my father, and by using those same principles I have succeeded in many aspects of my life, including my completion of High School and College.

I ?assisted? in the raising of money before departing to India. ?My group? I (washed cars, cleaned houses…), and collected eye-glasses to help with the funding. The proceeds from all of this was used to assist the people of India in their need of cataract surgeries so they could be provided a free service.

Hope this helps! your last sentence was a little unclear if the $$ from glasses paid for the surgery or was the surgery free to begin with.

“Before departing to India, I started a fundraiser for cataract-inflicted people living in India. I intended on using these resources to help the citizens cope with the overwhelming cost of cataract surgery. [insert ending sentence here. i.e, I hope I made a difference, or plan on going again, regret not doing more, blah blah.]

What grade are you in?

/15 sophomore

they do no longer look to be awkward yet there’s a minor grammatical blunders in each and each: 3. She is looking concerning an order *that* she located for a working laptop or laptop. you like the be conscious “that” in front of the 2d “she” in each and each sentence. quantity 4 is in all hazard the superb sounding even inspite of the undeniable fact that i could exchange it relatively to: 4. She is looking with regard to an order that she located for a working laptop or laptop. Having 2 words ending with “ing” mutually does sound relatively awkward i think, for this reason the exchange. i’m English, so mutually as that’s right for English, it may’t be the case for “American English”.

“I have listened, and learned from my dads success and used his experiances, and advice to help myself succed in many aspect of my life”

How is that.

“Including my Education.”

in the last one try getting ride of the for free you already stated earlier in the sentence that the cost was being coverd. or try putting in “…cataract surgeries for those who couldnt afford it.

hope this helps.