Catholic school is not for sissies. Just ask Sister Prudence. There are no shrinking violets in her classes. She believes in Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule. One wrong move and you wish you had been thrown to the lions.

The school itself looks like a medieval prison. Inside the floors are all pitted. Outside, the paths are all pea gravel. After finishing the school year, the soles of your shoes are all worn down. And what of the classrooms? Gruesome! I can imagine the interior decorator being Boris Karloff. Of course, he’s been dead almost 40 years. That’s about the last time the walls were painted. And they saved the blackest of rooms for something special. Welcome to the cafeteria! Whenever I sit on the creaky old benches, I imagine being joined by the werewolf and the mummy. Lady fingers, anyone?

One day, sister Prudence was droning on about the history of the church. We had been learning about saints and martyrs all year. When sister Prudence teaches, you must sit up straight and keep your hands on the desk at all times. No talking or passing notes. And no nodding off. If she catches you doing any of those things, out comes the ruler from one of those fathomless pockets in her habit. Then WHACK! It’s much better than No Doz. Sometimes I can’t help thinking unkind thoughts. I ask for miracles, like a little spontaneous combustion. I figure that if God could make a burning bush, why not a napalm nun?

I know I’m bad, but I can’t help it. If heaven and hell decide what to do with me, I know where I’ll end up. But then, maybe hell doesn’t really want me. When your soul embarks on that final journey, where to you go if they don’t put out the welcome mat? Maybe I could just float in limbo indefinitely. I imagine it’s kind of like being in line at Wal-Mart the day after Christmas. That can’t be all bad. At least I’ve never seen any overstuffed penguins with rulers hanging out there.

Sigh. I guess I’d better get going on the Hail Marys. Lord, when all is said and done, I hope Sister Prudence goes straight to heaven – and stays there. That way I’ll never have to see her again. Amen.

look at these cothes Mom, aren’t they so cool?,… why the quiteness?, that look, what is it Mom?, What?….no way!, You

got to be joking, catholic school?, what brought this on?.

So I messed up a little, take away my allowance!, do something else, not catholic school!, Catholic school, as vicious as Roman rule!, I won’t go…They’ll lock me away in

the blackest of rooms!, the darkness!!… the horror, and they’ll check to see, maybe once a week!..Why is this?..

We just feel that it’s best for you, We don’t know what to do!!.

I, inside me, know what to do, I’ll leave this place, I’ll hit the streets, but it will be hard, to sleep, to eat, how where what?, I’ll get a job!, a job?, I’m only thirteen.

The streets are tough!, living is hard, weirdos asking me to take this job, Leave me you lowly scum, just leave me be!. Where did you think you’re going?, Look at yourself!,

Your clothes are ripped, you need a bath, the soles of your shoes are all worn down, where is my breakfast, where’s my bed? cardboard boxes keep me warm.

I am losing touch, my self control, I have to run, to hide, and fight for this?, to hunt for food in garbage cans?.

When heaven and hell decide, because I can’t anymore!.

When your soul embarks on that long trip home, I’ll say I;m ready, I ve seen the life, hid in darkness, never saw the light!

But now I do, there, there up ahead….Finis.

I tried to go for Romantic and ended up with sappy but, Hey, Rikki’s is good. Way to go, girl.