“Josie Lands Her First Acting Gig”

To read PARTS 1&2:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AqMXUSKMXCFz5J5l2V.T1Lzsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20070928180227AAjcnnj&show=7#profile-info-d11beb9dbe4d078345e0f4632d56c6d9aa

PART 3:

In short order, Josie and her two new friends, Jan and Mary, became the THREE MUSKETEERS. When the break was over, they took their places among the “wounded” on the ground. Jan and Mary did their best not to laugh.

Josie did HER best not to vomit…… She was about to speak her lines!

“Okaaaaaaaaay…….. Scene 4, take 1 !!” yelled Clive Marmaduke, the director.

“CUT !!! (6) Hey you, extra #263….. you’re walking the wrong way!” Jan stiffled her laughter as she made an about-face.

“Okaaaaaaaaay……..Scene 4, take 2 !!”

“CUUUUUUUUT !! (3) Honey….. erm honey….. HEY YOU! The camera is over HERE! ……GAWD !!” Very sheepishly, Mary promised to correct her error.

“PEOPLE !! May we PLEASE roll the cameras for more than 2 minutes before the next…….. MISTAKE ?!” He glared at Mary and Jan.

“Okaaaaaaaay…..Scene 4, take 3 !!”

Just as Josie was about to speak her lines, the producer, Rob Hauser, dropped his clipboard and turned as white as a ghost.

(5) “Oh my………….. Lord, I think that’s my Ex. No, no, no this CANNOT be happening !!”

“CUUUUUUUUUT !!!” Clive watched as the producer

hid in the trailer they shared . His former wife, Irma saw him scramble. She opened the door…….(2)” Eeewe! I thought only Hillbillys stayed in Trailers…… Your alimony check was 2 days late !!! One more slip up like this and I go to the tabloids about your garterbelt fetish!!”

From the lavatory, Rob said, in a sqeakish voice….”Yes, dear.”

As Irma walked past Clive, she suddenly stopped……(4) I just got an email from Lady Gloria Faducci. Is she British?”

Clive:”How the hell should I know??!!! Listen…I am ATTEMPTING to film a movie here. Do ya mind?!”

Irma flicked her cigarette and laughed…… “Ahhhh, yes….Another full length Looney Tune directed and produced by ‘Dumb and Dumber. !! Hahahahahahah.”

“OMG where’s my assistant with my scotch on the rocks, I mean coffee!” muttered Clive.

He yelled at Rob to get back and PRONTO!! “Hurry up, you weak livered coward. Hey! I’ll give you flowers !!”

Clive yelled from the trailer, “(1) “Forget Flowers, Say it by putting the seat down, next time. DAMN IT!! I fell in……AGAIN !”

It took a little while, but they finally were able to shoot the scene.

“AAAAAAAAAND…..ACTION!!”

Josie stood, bandaged from head to toe. As she opened her mouth to speak her lines, her mind went blank!! Her natural instincts soon kicked into gear. Instead of following the script she ad libed. At the end of the scene, Clive yelled, “CUT!!”

He walked up to Josie…… “What was THAT all about?!”

Josie:”With all the stops and starts, I forgot my lines, sir. I had to make it up as I went along.”

Clive paused and smiled…..(7) “Oh you beautiful girl you……You made this a very memorable scene. You gave it the power we needed.”

Rob , the screenwriter as well as the producer, came running up to them, quite hysterical……”What the HELL??!!! You just RUINED the movie!!”

Josie:”But…… Mr. Marmaduke liked it, sir.”

Rob turned beet red……(8. Well I don’t care if he said so, I did NOT approve a re-write!”

He glared at Clive.and screamed,”You *****!!” as he marched off the set.

Clive ran after him……..”Darling!!!!! Come back.”

TO BE CONTINUED

“*Forget flowers, say it by putting the seat down*!” I yelled at my husby as the dog drank from the toilet and I ditched the flowers he bought at the grocery store. He was surfing the net and replied in a somewhat shocked tone, “*Oh my…..Lord, I think that’s my ex. No, no, no this CANNOT be happening.*” I looked over his shoulder, and the caption read, “*Honey…erm honey…HEY YOU! The camera is over HERE!*” Needless to say, I wasn’t about to say “*Oh you beautiful girl you…*” like the comment some other guy had posted…I mean, common, with THAT part of her anatomy showing?! Someone else had posted “*Eewe! I thought only hillbillies stayed in trailers*!” That was CLOSER to my opinion I guess. My husby posted his own comment, closely echoing my own opinion. However when I checked the site later to giggle, I noticed he’d changed it – to APPROVAL!!! I was complaining to my friend about it over the phone, and she told me to chill and that her sig. other said it was no big deal. I snapped back, “*Well I don’t care if he said so, I did NOT approve a rewrite!*” When there was a long pause from her and then a sudden “*OMG where’s my assistant with my scotch on the rocks, I mean coffee!*” I started wondering if I was dreaming. This thought was confirmed when as I woke up, I had the following phrase fading from mind: “*Hey you, extra #263….you’re walking the wrong way!*” Mind you, I’ve never been on a movie set and don’t wanna…but I suppose it COULD be worse. I could hear the words “*I just got an email from Lady Gloria Faducci. Is she British?*” and spend time obsessing over who she is and whether she’s British or not.

(: