Prom night was almost here for Westley High and the theme was “Dance into the future with Bob Dylan” We were having a live band with two lead singers calling themselves Mr. Tambourine Man and MR. BO JANGLES who apparently does a great job imitating Bob Dylan. We were all looking forward to the prom except Annabelle. She was the UGLIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD. It’s a sin for me to say that because she was nice enough but looks? She missed out there for sure.

Now me? I was the lucky one because PRETTY PEGGY (as I always called her) was going to be my prom date and she was a shoe in to be Prom Queen. She had it all; looks, gorgeous figure, beautiful hair, personality, and grades.

Annabelle had volunteered on the decorating committee but when everyone showed up to start they didn’t stay long. About 20 minutes later everyone left leaving Annabelle to finish on her own. They knew she would so why not let her.

Later we found out Annabelle had stayed five hours to finish. Good ol’ reliable Annabelle!

It’s too bad she won’t be there to enjoy all her work.

The next night I picked up PRETTY PEGGY looking stunning and her smile lit up the room as I passed her the corsage I bought.

The gym looked fabulous and it wasn’t long before the band started and everyone was up and ready to go for the night.

Later on I said to PRETTY PEGGY, “I want TO BE ALONE WITH YOU so let’s go out back for awhile.” She hesitated but took my hand and we went to the field back of the school. She shivered, and I then told her I had something that would warm her up as I pulled out a flask from my inside jacket pocket. Peggy wasn’t one to drink and I knew if we were caught we’d be in big trouble but gee we were adults now and it was a special occasion. Peggy looked concerned but I convinced her that it would just make her relax and have more fun then what she was already having. Peggy finally agreed to try it. She almost choked on the first mouthful but admitted that it made her feel warm inside. It didn’t take her long before she was laughing and dancing around the field. She made me a little nervous because I wasn’t prepared for it hitting her so quickly and I certainly wasn’t prepared for her falling and hurting her ankle. She told me her head didn’t feel well and almost cried when she thought we were going to be caught and she was going to miss being crowned Prom Queen.

I felt lousy. I told her to stay put and I’d get help but who I thought? Annabelle.

I ran as fast as I could go. Fortunately Annabelle’s bedroom was on the main level. I tapped on the window a couple of times before she looked out with a surprised look on her face.

“What are you doing?” she asked me.

I told her what I had done and Peggy needed help. “Please Annabelle, I know I haven’t been very nice to you at times but please come and help Peggy. CAN YOU PLEASE CRAWL OUT OF YOUR WINDOW so your parents won’t see me?”

Annabelle hesitated, but only for a second before I helped her to get out. Minutes later we were back with Peggy. She wasn’t quite as bad as when I left her but she still wasn’t feeling the best. Annabelle helped her up and got her back into the school and the women’s washroom away from the other ones so she could help Peggy clean up. Peggy couldn’t believe that Annabelle had come to aid her and asked why she had come. “We all need friends and someone to help us now and then when we mess up don’t we?” she sweetly said.

They heard the music start for announcing Prom Queen and King. Annabelle helped Peggy to the gym because her ankle was sore and she still felt light headed. Annabelle stood at the back watching Peggy make her way near the front.

“Our Prom Queen for this year is Miss Peggy Riley,” announced our principal.

Peggy went on stage shaking her head no and as soon as she was crowned she took it off again and looked at all the students who were now just staring at her waiting for her to say something.

“I don’t deserve this,” she started.” I have been foolish tonight and broke the rules of non-drinking. I fell and hurt myself and that’s why I look a mess but there is one person that came to help me without thinking twice. She dedicated herself to decorate this gym and without her we wouldn’t have it looking so wonderful. Many of us have been sarcastic or rude to her at one time or another and yet she has never said a nasty word back. Tonight I want to apologize to Annabelle, and have her come up and become our Prom Queen because there is no other that deserves it and I also hope she will allow me to become a friend.

THE SIMPLEST TWIST OF FATE happened that night when the crown was placed on Annabelle’s head and the students applauded.

One day Pretty Peggy went to her friend’s house in the middle of the night. She was the ugliest girl in the world. She called from the street “Can you please crawl out of your window”. The ugliest girl in the world was reluctant because her parent’s would not like it but she obliged. When she asked what Pretty Peggy wanted she said “I want to be alone with you”. The ugly girl was uncomfortable because she was not a lesbian but always thought pretty peggy was. In a simple twist of fate the ugly girl saw a bus bound for the Mr Bojangles and Mr Tambourine man concert, she interrupted Pretty Peggy saying, “lets go to the concert” They jumped onto the bus and went to the concert, Pretty Pegyy loved the music so much that she forgot all about wanting to be alone with the ugliest girl in the world, they then went home and went on with their lives.

the end

or is it?

I used to date a girl named Pretty Peggy. To me she was amazing but my friends all said she was the Ugliest Girl in the World. In the beginning the romance was great. I’d visit her at her house and climb the vines to wake her up while her parents slept. One night as she met me high atop the vines I asked,”Can you Please Crawl Out Your Window?” “Dont worry.” I said. “I’ll carry you down. I really want To Be Alone With You.” As we made our way down and headed to the car it started to rain. We jumped in the car and headed to the place we first met, Dylan Point. We sat out in the rain on the edge of the car, watching the rain fall. I thought to myself, this must be a Simple Twist of Fate. This was where we ended our very first date and it was raining then too. I decided to take her home as tha rain began to stop. On the way home I told her about the dog I just bought. I had just bought a Black Lab and I named him Mr. Bojangles. She asked me if she could see him and I told her of course. She could come over tomorrow after work. See, we had to be kind of sneaky in our relationship because her parents did not approve of me. I was young and in a band. I was the lead singer and her parents had sterieotyped me as a typical rock band type of guy. I finally met them after a while and told them they had it all wrong. I love their daughter and though I was the lead singer of a group called The Master Plan, I was better known as Mr. Tambourine Man. Well this had no bearing as they threw me out of their house and told me I was to stay away from their daughter. So off I went, head hung low. Back to my house, to listen to Bob Dylan and do some blow.

Hey, it sounded good coming out. 🙂 Have a nice day.

I was walikng down the street one day, when i saw the uglist girl in the world looking out at the sidewalk from her bedroom. I asked, Can you please crawl out your window and jump off so i won’t have to see your face anymore?

Her name was pretty peggy. (how amusing). I told her my name was Mr. Tambourine man and that i dont want to be alone with you because you scare the Mr. Bojangles out of me. It was a simple twist of fate….

Mr Bojangles is a Jerry Jeff Walker song.

The Freewheelin Bob Dylan.

Dodge City, Kansas

Circa 1876

“That’s All Folks”

Miss Kitty Russell was just about to get ready for bed, when she heard a banging on her window!!!

“PSSSSST!!! Miss Kitty!! (2) Can you please crawl out your window?”

Kitty went into the “classic pose” trying to cover her nakedness!!! After falling to the floor, she crawled to the side of her bed and grabbed a robe.

Kitty:”What the HELL are you doing at my window, Peggy Sue?!!!”

Peggy Sue Holly stepped off the ladder, into the bedroom. She looked in Kitty’s large mirror….”Oh, lordy! I’m covered in soot! I’m the (1) Ugliest girl in the world!”

Kitty:” No. No. You’re (3) Pretty, Peggy. Very youthful. Very pretty. ” Kitty caught her own reflection….. “Dear GAWD!”

Peggy:” Miss Kitty? I jest HAD (4)To be alone with you, to ask you a question.”

Kitty:”Ever hear of STAIRS??!!! Why crawl through my window……… Do you realize how you frightened me?? But you know……I can remember back…..Ohhhhhhhh, so many years ago….”

Peggy, to herself…..”Oh, no. Here we go again! She’s going to go on and on about her romance with Marshal Dillon….the GOOD OLD DAYS…….ugh!”

Kitty:” Yes….Years ago….Ahhhhh…The good old days. Matt came through that window once. We were young. He was horny. GOD!!!!! How I miss him! Now here he is with that horrible hillbilly from Virginia, Sunshine MacGillicutty!!!”

Peggy:”Uhhhhh, Miss Kitty? Can we please return to what we were talking about?”

Kitty wiped a tear from her eye and adjusted her robe …..

“Sure, sugar britches……. What seems to be YOUR problem?!”

Peggy:”Well Miss Kitty. I have a situation and I need to speak to a older woman, for advice.” Kitty cringed at the word “older.” “By a (5) Simple twist of fate I noticed your light on, Miss Kitty and I says to myself, I says…..’Peggy Sue Holly. Miss Kitty will help ya. She knows ALL about men. SHE’LL help ya.’ ”

Kitty: I will if I can. What ‘s wrong?”

Peggy:”Well, (6) Mr Bojangles and (7) Mr.Tambourine man are causing me heartbreak.”

Kitty: MEN!!! They’re ALL BASTARDS, Peggy!!! EveryONE of them!!! What did they do to you,dear?!”

Peggy: “Well….They both want to marry me and they keep fighting over me and I’m a’gitting head throbs from all of this!!!”

Kitty:”Okay. Let me get this straight. Two men are fighting over you??!!! What the hell’s your problem?”

Peggy Sue:”Well………… I need to know which one would make a better pig farmer.”

Kitty:”Uh huh.”

Peggy:” Soooooooo….. Miss Kitty? Would YOU be so kind as to sponsor a pig calling contest at the town festival next month?”

Kitty plopped down on her bed and numbly nodded her head.

Peggy was elated. She gave Miss Kitty a quick hug and then crawled out the window, back down the ladder. She skipped all the way home….♫”Tra La Tra La Tra Laaaaaaaaaaaa!♫”

Kitty slammed her fist into the mattress. After pouring herself a tall glass of Randy Scouse Git Rotgut, she sat back down. “Okay…. Let’s take a quick lay of the land:

Number 1…. My darling Matt left me for Sundown MacHillbilly!!

Number 2…..I haven’t stopped drinking since he left me for that WRETCHED WITCH!!!”

Number 3…. And NOWWWWW!! I have sunk so low into the bowels of hell that I’m being asked to sponsor a PIG calling contest!! ” She shook her fist in the air….”AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, MY LIFE IS IN THE OUTHOUSE!!!!! “

yes.

I can and have.