Sacky Farms raises Boneless Chicken…

Because they can’t raise themselves!

Kids love the Freshness of Nubian Farms Goat Milk…

any other brand is just an OLD expression!

Naturally Knorrs makes the best Broth Cubes…

We come from Chicken Stock!

Veal, the other sad meat!

What’s the best Dolphin: “People of the Sea.” It’s tuna safe!

You won’t feel awful when you eat Habib’s Falafel

Support aspiring musicians, order a PIZZA tonight

Hebrew National Foot Long Hot Dogs…

8 more inches than you’ll ever get from a Jew!

Rue-le-Pic brand Pate de Fois Gras…

What are we chopped liver?

Brussels Sprouts…

make kids feel like giants eating cabbage

Ow Ow Hot,

Ow Ow hot,

That’s what Juan’s hot sauce is:

Ow Ow hot!

None-A-Whenever Brand Multi-Placebos…

Nothing does nothing like None-A-Whenever!

Kids love Pavels Yogurt…

Spoil the Kids, Spoil the Milk

Mahatma Brown Rice doesn’t taste like it

some people do like White on Rice

Spam, It’s still food too!

Cottage Cheese… it looks like your thighs won’t

Coke Original Recipe…

Shhhh! it’s the real thing!

Quaker Oats… They’re the Mushiest!

Swanson’s Frozen Dinners…

When they’re not worth cooking for!

Lettuce! it makes your sandwich look bigger!

Sweet and Sour Pork… The bipolar delight from the orient!

Only the most Manic Depressive Pigs go into Chun Kings Sweet and Sour Pork

Fried Pork Oinks.. An audible oink in every bite!

Ball Bark Franks…

They plump when you cook ’em…

You plump when you eat ’em!

Del Monte Sardines…

packed as tight as an elevator at 8:59 am

Pack their lunch box with Rice Cakes…

They keep the other food from getting damaged!

Road Kill brand Possum Jerky…

The Anytime, Anywhere Snack

Apricots sat on the track…

Enough to fill a bowl up…

The 418 came steaming by

Choo Choo, Mott’s Fruit Roll-up

Purina Baby Chow…

It’s not just for cats anymore!

How do we prevent Mad Cows at Black Angus?

We put the laughter back in slaughter!

Knudsen’s Milk… It’s udderly delicious

Cruesoe’s Croissants

If you don’t hock up a good one, you’re not saying it right!

Maxwell House International Coffees

Now with Quadruple the Caffeine…

Celebrate the nanoseconds of your life!

KFC… We do chicken right…

but we done the chicken wrong!

Aged Steaks… find them in he back of your meat section

Progresso Mocked Turtle Soup…

We mock ’em till they’re tender

Fresh Squeezed Chicken’s Milk…

Something new from Genetech Farms

El Pollo Loco…

The healthy alternative to Mad Cows

Caucasian Ranch Human Steaks

The other, other white meat.

They’re Cannibalicious!

Snarley’s Vinegar… All you add is piss!

Grandma’s Homemade Biscuits…

Just like Great Grandma used to make!

Hostess Twinkies…

You’re best defense against hunger!

(you had to have been around for the Dan White trial)

Mafioso’s Family Recipe Tartar Sauce…

Put it on the fish and you won’t sleep with ’em!

Uncle Ben’s “Microwavable” Minute Rice…

Ready before you open the package!

Philly Cheese Steaks…

It’s beef, we mean “Philly” as in Philadelphia

The Hopi’s used every part of the buffalo. That’s why you should eat…

Entemanns doughnut holes… Waste not want not!

Lay’s New Sour Cream & Chive, Cool Ranch, Barbecue, Salt & Vinegar, Nacho Cheddar, Jalepeño… Um, What was it we were selling?

Veal… don’t worry, it doesn’t feel pain the way we do.

French’s Fancy Mustard…

I always Poupon Dijon when I Must Turd

Fruity Smith & Wesson-O’s

Crunchy Weapons of Wheat with Marshmallow Bullets

Make your Kid a Cereal Killer

Ben & Jerrys introduces 3 new flavors!

Caramel Tunnel Syndrome

Banana Mint Issues

Coconut Date Rape

Ice Cream that has more problems than you do!

Fresh Squeezed Orange Juice…

Huge saving when you buy a years supply!

Ricardo’s Cajun Style Chow Mein Pizza Pita Pockets

We’re as confused as you are!

Coopers Inn Bread

Uncle Pa’s Original Recipe

Kelloggs Pop Tarts…

Everything about them says “Eat Me”

Count Chocula Cereal…

It’s scary, but not the way you think!

Lane Bryant Canned Vegetables…

In the Valley of the Jolly “Big Fat Ho” Lane Bryant

How true it is that the Congress is giving Obama the right to be a dictator, what is wrong with the voters who elected them and Obama too, for at least not impeaching him and congresspersons after he has betrayed (us all.)? I fear it has a lot more than we’d like to believe to do with the brainwashing systems forced on the teachers to have to use on students, like this “D.I” method, called ‘direct instruction. No time to think, and teachers can give them a chance to. Just mimic, parrot and obey. Sadly,. ‘ Freedom is just a slogan today, and schools have incorporated the thought control techniques studied by Marxists in fallen USSR. I don’t want to live in the USSA because I’ve tried communism and it sucks. Capitolism does need a conscience, though, and there does need to be some rules or limits, but still, the gov’t taking over busnesses and taxing businesses and the wealthy so they leave America to run their businesses elsewhere is like writing an obituary for America and a standard of living that was bearable, even for our less wealthy homeless. I agree, the military is always a threat and must be carefully balanced, I live between two military bases and the average soldier is no rocket scientist, for sure, nor do they keep up on current events. They just parrot and say “Yessir,” then shoot to kill without questioning orders from the sicko s on top..

I doubt I will ever look at an artichoke the same way again.

Thank for sharing your genius with us mere mortals. I know I am not worthy (**bows on ground**).

Got Asparagus?

Beef Jerky – When a steak just ain’t enough.

RE:
CAN you come up with FOOD SLOGANS? fun game..?
Not quite "mean cuisine" but can you think up some funny wordplay food slogans? We've all heard "Beef, it's what's for dinner." and "Pork, the other white meat."

"Chicken, it tastes like chicken?"

Try coming up with short sales pitches for,…

check out this site.. http://thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi?word=Tuna+Fish

I do have it (from reliable sources) that one of the earliest ad slogans to encourage more people to eat fish was:

Fish – It’s not just for Catholics on Fridays anymore!

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Hot Dogs! Don’t ask. Don’t tell.

Bacon! It’s what cholesterol should taste like!

Bacon LITE! I can’t believe its not soy!

Paea! It only sounds like “pie”. (But, it still tastes good.)

Hooker’s Cheesecake. Every piece comes with a little cheesecake.

Whistler’s Saltines. We bet you can’t.

Soft Pretzel Fingers. It’s really just a salty breadstick.

VandeCramps Pork and Beans. Flatulence in a can.

Vinnie’s Ground Beef. It’s what happens to discontented cows.

Chicken of the Sea Tuna. It’s FISH, Jessica.

Gopher in a Can. Chicken of the prairie.

Monkey Steaks. Chicken of the jungle.

Gator Bits. Chicken of the swamp.

Crawdad Etoufe. Chicken of the bayou.

Camel on a Stick. Chicken of the desert …on a stick.

Toucan in a Can. …but, there’s not a lot of leg room.

Ben & Jerry’s Mashed Potatoes. Doing for spuds what we did for ice cream.

Nummy Head Cheese. Parts is parts.

Party Mushrooms. Putting the fun back in fungus.

Fritos. We know what it sounds like. But, they’re still just corn chips.

Whipped Cream. No food items were actually hurt in making this product.

Harvey’s Bagels. Because not every bread product with a hole has to be a donut.

Smucker’s Jams. Way better than the name sounds.

Pasta Fagioli. Who knew “fagioli” was pronounced “fah-zuhl?”

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Becker’s Cow Tongue. We told those cows they better shut the @#$% up!

Wanker’s Tripe. We give tripe a good name.

Vanilla Wafers. This is a cookie? Wait, wait, we mean …This IS a cookie! No, really.

Barfers Gaggy Black Licorice. Our name says it all.

Calimari. If we called it squid, would you eat it?

Poached Shark Remoulade. Jaws on a plate. (Who’s the “Big Predator” now, …punk?!)

Hominy Grits. Lots and lots ,,,more than you can ever eat in a lifetime.

Mustard. Why would you put something that looks this disgusting, and with a name to match, on your sandwich?

Catsup. Maybe if we changed the name to KETCHUP we could sell more.

Liverworst. Numbsain?

Corndogs. And you thought hot dogs were bad for ya!

Gaspacho. Soup not worth cooking.

Crepes. Oui mek zee pankek battair lahst lawngair!

Escargo. We ran out of steak one night and they were easy to catch.

Couscous. That’s “cous” not “goose”. Stop it! I said, “cous”, “…COUS” you idiot! Pinch me one more time and so help me…

Ginger Ale. O.K. We lied. There’s no alcohol in it. But, it sounds better than ordering a Shirley Temple.

Carrots. To rabbits, it’s like dinner growing from the ceiling.

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Fruit Loops. Proof that kids will eat anything if there is enough sugar in it.

Grape Nuts. Not really grapes. Not really nuts, either.

Yoplait Whipped Yogurt. We figured if they could put water in beer and sell it for more money as “Lite Beer”, then we could put air in our yogurt and sell it for more, too.

Artichokes. We knew any food with “choke” in the name would be a hard sell, but its too late to change it now.

Real California Dates. We figured we could sell a lot to lonely singles.

Instant Water. The first step was to get you to buy water in a bottle. Now, maybe you’ll just buy the bottle.

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Collard greens. Just about the stupidest name we could think of.

Mush. Well, what did you expect it would taste like?

Rocky Mountain Oysters. See our ad for Hot Dogs.

Lemon Ade. Please help the poor lemons. Won’t you?

Fruity Pebbles. It was the best name we could come up with at the time.

Del Monte’s Fruit Cocktail. Is it just me …or do the grapes look like midget g0n@ds?

Hillshire Farms Summer Sausage. Summer sausage. Summer other stuff. (And, we’re not saying which is which.)

Jimmy Dean’s Pureed Pork Sausage. Meat you can drink.

Pillbury’s Toaster Struedel. Unplug before eating.

Lay’s Pork Rinds. Hog fat boiled in oil. It’s how we make L’il Bubba into Huge Buttcrack Bubba. (Beer helps, too)

Cracker Jack. Candy coated popcorn, peanuts and something less fun than the empty box.

Candy Cigarettes. One the shrewdest maketing ploys you’re ever gonna see, thank you very much.

Bubble Gum Cigars. Fool me once… …So, we thought we’d try it again.

Lady Godiva’s Chocolate Cherry Cordials. Naked ladies, chocolate, and liquor. Why didn’t someone think of it sooner?

Kellog’s All-Bran Cereal. We know it tastes like sawdust. But, it’s still good for you.

Top Raman. Middle Raman and Bottom Raman did not play as well with the focus groups.

Tofu. We could have come up with a better name, but it would still would have tasted like tofu.

Jujubes. Hey, why’nt we jes call ’em “Jujubes” …er sumpin?

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Tang. We paid the astronauts.

Fish Head Soup. Here’s looking at ya!

Shepherd’s Pie. Sort of like Meadow Muffins.

Mutton. If your kids won’t eat it …just tell them, “It’s mutton or nuttin’!”

Pecans. We don’t call them “pee-cans” for a reason.

Olive Oil. No, not Popeye’s girlfriend, …moron.

Chex Party Mix. I always have LOTS leftover.

Trail Mix. HEY! Stop eating just the M&Ms, O.K.?!

Frankie’s Funky Fondue. Double dipping is not a problem.

Marie Calendar’s Meatloaf Surprise. If you find ANY meat in it …SURPRISE!

Patty Melt. We should have left Patty in the freezer like she wanted.

Celery. I’m a stalker, he’s a stalker, she’s a stalker, they’re a stalker. Wouldn’t you like to be a stalker, too?!

Radish. The vegetable that’s only sort of rad.