A few days ago
bbwdys4

What should I do? PLEASE HELP!?

Well, I just moved into my college dorm two days ago. I’m not really happy being here. I am very home sick and lonely. My roommate is nice but has her own thing going on and I don’t want to follow her around like a puppy. I am very shy and reserved so making friends is hard. I’m just not sure if I made the right decision to come to college. I having second thought and have been even before I moved. I was kinda pressured by my family to come. I wanted to go to commuity college for a year or two just to grow up a little first. I feel like I made a huge mistake and i’m so sad and depressed. What should I do? Is this normal? I also don’t have a major and financial aide paid for everything so my dad won’t be too made about that. How can I tell if this situation isn’t right for me or if i’m just homesick? Thanks, sorry it’s so long, I just need some advice. Oh yeah, classes haven’t even started yet ;(.

Top 5 Answers
A few days ago
B

Favorite Answer

There are actually two ways to look at your situation.

1. Perhaps you should stick it out, force yourself to become more independent and you’ll find that emotionally you will mature. Believe me when I say that you’ll meet new people/friends – – you simply have to become involved in something.

However, I have been where you’re at and saw many of my friends drop out simply because they were NOT ready emotionally to leave home.

…the second option…

2. Go back to your community college. Your assessment of yourself is probably right on the money (…no one knows you better than YOU.) Doing two years at a CC WILL help you mature, get you use to the rigor of college work/social life, give you a little more time to think about “what do I want to do for a career,” and save your folks some $$$ (…can you talk to my son please?)

My guess – – you should probably follow your intuition and do the two years at your CC.

….curious, are your parents concerned about getting you away from certain home town elements (e.g., a boy friend) or are they focused on being able to tell their friends that their daughter is attending a particular school? Either way, I’m not too sure they’ve done a full assessment of you and your readiness tackle this aspect of growing up.

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A few days ago
ZenPenguin
I feel very strongly you should stick it out. The reason is this – home sickness and loneliness are very normal feelings. You have been a child, taken care of by your parents, your entire life. Now you are on your own. It is an absolute shock to everything you know, and the things you didn’t even realize you had, like someone who cared for you in your presence whenever you were home, are the things you treasure and the things you miss.

The problem is, you can never get it back. You won’t really grow in the next 2 years if you go to a CC. You’ll just get 2 years older, and the feelings of separation will just be put off for 2 years. Plus, believe me, there are thousands of other students in the same boat as you are. In 2 years, most people will have formed their social circle and it will be a much harder battle.

When classes start you will be busy with your studies, but you will also meet people. Get into study groups. Talk with your dorm neighbors – I guarantee there are people in your dorm who are feeling the same as you. Join some clubs – even if you know nothing about them. Find a boyfriend, break up, get another. Stay out until 3 am on a Wednesday night, simply because you can (and reap the consequences on your next final…)

Growing up is hard to do, but you can never go back home. You will never be 14 years old again. The sooner you develop the skills to survive on your own, the sooner you will start the transition to adult, a career, and your own family. Best of luck. Now get off your computer and meet people!

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A few days ago
techmom
Give it some more time, what you’re feeling is very, very normal! What you need to do is go attend some of the mixers and activities that all colleges have for new freshmen. You will find many more of your new classmates there that feel exactly the same way. You’re sure to find some new friends. Also, once classes start, you’re sure to make some more new friends. You may just have to gather up your courage and make the first move though. Good Luck and have a great semester!
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A few days ago
country_girl
I am also very shy and reserved…..just try to go to some of the campus activities, maybe FCA, Campus Crusade…I am not sure what you are interested in. That is a good way to meet people who have similar interests.

College was very scary for me too, but it turned out being the best thing I have ever done. By Christmas break of my freshman year, I never even went home on the weekends.

Stick it out for a semester, and then, if you still hate it, then maybe you should go home.

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A few days ago
blackned_wings
Sometimes it really ISNT for certain people. But i think for now you just need to feel it out. Give it another few weeks, if your close enough, visit home on the weekends to ease in. If not, just stay in touch on the phone. Go out and explore the city. Its tough to adjust, but just give it time.

I moved to another state far from home just to ‘get away’ for a while and i was really home sick the first few weeks but after i got a job (at a roller rink, other kids were around) i started to make friends and things began to get better. Also, once classes start you will make friends and things will get easier. Just give it time =)

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