Most people who go to community college attend their local school, unless a school further away offers something special and unique that can’t be found locally. Thus, the vast majority of students are commuters. For example, where I am, there is a cc that is actually an art school – the Westchester Arts Workshop, part of Westchester cc. If your daughter planned on going on to, say, major in art at Parsons or RISD, and she was in-state NY, then having her go to this cc art school might be a reasonable choice. I also know that a lot of students move to Santa Fe CC (in Gainesville, FL) due to its zoo tech program, and to Daytona Beach CC (also in FL) due to its surf culture. Students also move to NYC to study for their associates in fashion at FIT, because that’s a very high powered school.

But if she’d only be moving away because she wants that “going away to college feel”, I’d almost rather her either combine that with a college that is unique and which offers something she can’t find near home, or else go right into a four-year school. I’m not sure it’s worth it, otherwise, AND I’m not sure that she’s going to get that “collegey” life by living away from home, but attending a regular cc, anyway.

Another exception would be if she feels she’d do better academically and in life if she lived away from her family. But again, I’m not sure a cc would be the ideal choice for that. In that particular situation, I’d have her look specifically for a cc that offered on-campus housing and a real collegiate atmosphere – and there are some – or else a “junior college” such as Dean, which is a private, liberal arts school that offers associates degrees. Many junior colleges attract out-of-state and international students, and thus have formal residence halls, and residential education programs. They feel like a residential campus, because they are.

If she’s going to a cc, I’d rather she stay near home (again, unless there’s a unique program elsewhere). When she transfers to a four year school, then she can go away.

I think that a community college is a great way to get you feet wet so to speak. It should be your daughters decision first and foremost, but it sounds like she wants to go to community college as well, and her godmother needs to let her decide on her own as well.

Most community colleges dont have dormitory or any student living facilities, if she went away should be paying for rent, groceries, utilities, etc… All of which would most likely be a lot higher than Room and Board at a traditional university.

College, is of course very different from highschool your daughter might be better served to ease into the life, through community college, Thats my opinion though.

I dont think anyone in this situation is wrong, except the godmother for doing more than offering an opinion. It should have been an opinion and dropped at that.

Youre daughter sounds like a smart young lady, i think she will be able to decide.

She shouldn’t go away to a community college. They do great work in giving opportunities to students who wouldn’t have any otherwise, but they very rarely have on-campus housing, or much of a campus community. Most of their students will usually have jobs and/or families to go to after school, and your daughter would be at great risk of being very lonely. There really isn’t much college life at most community colleges.

If your daughter is an excellent student, then she would probably be best off to go straight into a four year school, assuming money is not an issue. They actually do a lot of things to ease the transition to college life for freshmen at most schools, but they often do a lot less for transfer students, even ones who are away from home for the first time in their lives.

no one is wrong on this. it’s your daughter’s decision as to what she would like to do. i know plenty of people who opted to go to college close to home and commute each day. i on the other hand chose a school that was 4 hours away and am currently entering my 4th year, all of which have been in the dorms.

i think the idea of her starting at a community college is good, but i would advise you and her as well to consider what program she wants to get into eventually (what degree does she want?). make sure that you’ll be able to transfer credits from the community college to the university. otherwise the year or so at c.c. would kind of be a waste.

I sometimes have issues with people in my daughters life, usually young adults without children my daughters ages. Sometimes a close family relation or even a distant aquaintance gets involved in an important family decision… Why? Well, I belive its a matter of association. As a parent we consider what we feel is best for our daughter. But as a 25 year old woman with a 2 year old trying to guide my daughter, her advice was based on association.

What I mean is that people who advise your child based on how they associate with her situation is not about what’s best for your daughter. Who do you know? Why can’t she choose for herself? Well, these are the kinds of arguments your daughters guides might make on her behalf. This is because they are associating your daughter’s choice with a choice they made. This is their chance to for you to do for your daughter as they wish their parent had done for them.

Some motivations can simply be that the cousin can relate. Or perhaps the cousin is jealous. But here’s the question you can ask yourself: “is this person for real”, “would this cousin really let her future 18 year old daughter do as she is suggesting you let yours”? That’s what really separates advise based on an association from good sound parental advise. Don’t get me wrong, some parents advise based as if they were reliving their youth through their child—definetly a no no.

Bottom line is you have a vested interest in you’re daughters choice because you plan to fund it to some extent. Plus you truly care beyond measure or words. Maybe you’re cousin is is disrespecting your position if she challenges it in front of your daughter. But she may not know. She may just be giving honest advise like I am too you–only you know the situation so you’ll have to think about her motives.

Nonetheless, community college is definetly something she can do near you–assuming you and her can agree to this. I don’t know if the commuity college is really where today’s youth grow up (no offense), but their kind of like big high schools only fewer groups and activites to be involved in. But, college, well that might take her from home.

You’re problem is that you really can’t make this decision, even though you want to. Because if you get too crass now and put your foot down–you’ll just make your relationship with your daguhter worst. You’re daughter will view any agressivness or assertivness from you as tightning a leash around her own neck. Worst she may come to resent you for this later (if not already). So, try and be diplomatic, mature, and fair in dealing with your daughter as an adult in making this decision.

While I’ve wanted to “tell off” those “helping” my daughter I’ve chose not to turn a bad situation into a readlly bad feud.

you are the mommy. i would let your daughter say what she wants to do. just remind her that it is hard to go away to collage and study and work all at the same time. if she stays closer she will ave more time to study. when a kid moves away from home they may not do as well if they stay at home the first year. collage is a lot different than high school;. i would tell her godmother to mind her own business. like i said you are the mommy and you get the last say what happens with your daughter. good luck to you an your daughter i am sure he will make you proud!

I think she should be as close to home to start out with. They are so green at first; there’s so much for them to learn. It’s a big load for them, dealing with a new town/school along with dealing with a new place to live and not familiar with the surroundings. Let her get her feet wet at home.

This is what my grand daughter is doing. She shares an apartment with another girl in our town. My daughter goes down there once or twice a week. She comes home to do her laundry. No matter where they go; there’s a chance of crimes, etc. But, it’s not as bad if it’s close to home. The parents can get to them quicker in a crisis.

I think that going to a four year college or university is not the most important thing. But when she does go to the larger school make sure she stays in a dorm either co-ed or just female she will make friends that will be with her forever not like the friends you have in high school that fade away!

I believe youre right!

I just started freshman year at the UNVERSITY of houston this yr and i am a commuter (its 30 min away) and trust me, i am SO HAPPY i am not living on campus like some other people. The comfort of home shouldnt be taken away if she is in living distance. And theres no point in going to a community collegeout of town? what is the point of that?

I think living on your own without your parents is a good transition into life after school.

And I agree with the 1st answer; no one is wrong and your daughter should ultimately be the one to decide.

Either way it’s not set in stone.