Just breathe.

You want the essay to reflect your personality. Can you imagine how many essays colleges receive!?

I’m not sure what topic you are writing about but write about what you want to accomplish in the next 4 years- where you want to be & how you plan on getting there.

Show your determination, show your perseverance & most importantly show who you are.

Are you just writing this for class or are you planning to actually use it on applications? To be honest, your start is quite boring and generic. I’m sure the admissions people have seen this tactic way too many times alread. Your first few lines need to grab the reader and immediately set you apart from the other applicants, and unfortunately your’s isn’t doing it. If you’re just using it for class, do whatever you want, but I wouldn’t apply to college with an essay starting like that.

No you are not able to. For two causes: a million) you are going to now not have had the equal reviews to her so what she has written is inappropriate for your existence two) faculties determine for plagiarism. If you’re stuck copying any individual else’s paintings they’ll reject your software instantly. It’s now not exotic for humans to be stuck like this so it is not valued at taking the chance. Certainly use her essay for recommendations and a well advisor to comply with however it must now not be precisely the equal. If you’re having situation perhaps you might ask her to deliver you a few suggestions.

College classes and learning show a potential employer that you will attend on a daily basis, show up on time, and can do a variety of reports and essays that have been practiced in the classes required for the various degrees offered.