from a 2nd grader- honest! “have you ever cheated on your husband?” MAybe not funny but one I remembered

5th grader (very good reader): He was reading a science story about a girl who was making her own movie and her pet guinea (pronounced (hard G) ginee) pig. He was reading the story aloud to me and came across the phrase (guinea pig) for the first time. He was in the middle of reading the sentence and read the phrase as if it were pronounced gweena pig! He caught himself right away and knew it didn’t sound right and said “Gweena pig?! What the heck is that? Gweena pig?” It was hilarious because he had mispronounced it, didn’t know what the real word was, but knew it was wrong. You could hear the genuine surprise in his voice. He started laughing first because he just didn’t see how a book could put a weird word like gweena pig in there.

I was an inclusion teacher in a 4th grade classroom, and one of my students was a sweet borderline MR student. One day I aske the small group I was working with “who can tell me what summarize means?” My student eagerly raised his hand and replied “it’s like a ninja, but not quite a ninja.” It was so funny at first I was thinking what the heck, but then it dawned on me that he was thinking samuri!!!! LOL

My sister is a kindergarten teacher. It was the 2nd week of class when most students had gained enough confidence to start asking unique questions…

One particular intrigued boy asked in Spanish , “maestra, como nacen los bebes?, (teacher, how are babies born?).

My sister sighed and in her mind a storm of ideas started to pour figuring out a way to best answer this question.

My sister, as wisely and calmly as possible, started answering in a way that not only this boy, but the rest of the attentive children in her class could understand. She started like, “well, for example when your mother and your father got married…” and then continued her explanation being careful not to go into unnecessary details… She continued for several minutes going back and forth, pausing, rectifying what she had said, and using analogies to better explain her answer.

The boy quietly listened. Once my sister finished; who by now was relieved hoping she had done a job well done explaining, and fearing more questions of the like, noticed the boy raise his hand. He waited for my sister to allow him to speak. He was quite surprised and with an amazed look and an assuring tone repeated his question to my sister:

“Maestra, lo que yo queria saber es como nacen los bebes… con pelo o sin pelo! ” (Teacher, all I wanted to know was how are the babies born, with or without hair?!).

One of the two year olds came up to my sister and said, “Ms. Becky why is your belly so big, you eat too much?” And with her innocence we couldn’t help but laugh it off! Although now she still says it, she thinks it’s hilarous now.

Another little girl, same class didn’t know the correct pronnunciation of Play Doh, my sister spent the rest of the afternoon teaching her that it was not pronounced “platatoh”. Too funny!!!

I taught in an English immersion classroom where all of my first graders were native Spanish speakers. One day as I was sitting in a corner reading to the students with them sitting circled all around me, I sneezed. Instead of climbing over all of them to get a tissue, I asked one of the students near the back to get one for me. I asked him and gestured to him what I wanted. He walked over and pointed to a few things and when he finally pointed to them I told him yes that was what I wanted. He looked at me and said “Teacher, in Spanish these are called ‘Kleenex’. Who knew. 🙂 🙂

A freshman student came up to me during a test and asked me what does “Fill in the Blank mean”. After staring at him in shock for a minute, I answered in my calmest teacher voice….”It means Fill in the Blank..you know with a answer.”

I had a female student who always fell asleep in class. I didn’t care. She (or somebody) was paying for it. Anyway, the guy who sat beside her farted. It was so loud it woke her up. It sounded like a machine gun. I won’t ever forget that.

We have been sitting in well-being sooner or later taking a attempt and out of no the place Mr. U shouts "oh my god Becky. seem at her butt!" we are guffawing hysterically and he's like "what!?! Gotta love sir-combination-a-lot". It replaced into so humorous. He even reported it in the extreme pitched girly voice

8th Graders

I brought in a festivus pole one year and this girls asks, “Mr. M, Can I play with your pole?” She quickly realized her Gaffe.

This other girl says to me, “Mr M I have a sore throat, can you give me something hard to suck on?” With the straightest of faces, I replied, “I’m afraid I can’t help you.” and quickly walked away.