“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”

“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?”

“Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.”

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”

“Never argue with an idiot. He’ll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.”

“I plan to live forever. So far, so good”

“Men do not care how nobly they live, but only how long, although it is within the reach of every man to live nobly, but within no man’s power to live long.” -Seneca

“It is not only fine feathers that make fine birds.” -Aesop

“We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.” -Aesop

“I choose the likely man in preference to the rich man, I want a man without money rather than money without a man.”

-Themistocles

“As a twig is bent the tree inclines.” -Virgil

“An old doting fool, with one foot already in the grave.” -Plutarch

“in necessaries unitas, in dubiis libertas, in omnibus caritas”

“Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?”

“Fat drunk and Stupid is no way to go through life son”

“Would you like a smoke and a pancake?”

“Engage”

Don’t spit against the wind. (hehehe, there is also a more nasty one: Don’t pee against the wind) =D