When you’re going through hell, don’t forget to wave at Johnny Cochran.

If I was stuck in an elevator with Paris Hilton, I would try extremely hard to remove her head from her hind end as a favor to humanity.

Whenever I think about you, I want to ask about the fifty bucks you owe me.

If I was president, the first thing I would do is excommunicate Hillary.

If I met Sunshine/Mattbaby, I would ask her where she put my winchester as I tossed back a slug of bourbon.

2. When you’re going through hell, don’t forget to give Satan a wave of respect!

3. If I was stuck in an elevator with Paris Hilton I would be in the wrong hotel!

4. Whenever I think about you I want to ask you some questions for a change.

5. I I was president the first thing I would do is pass a law stating the only people who use spell checkers are permitted to use Yahoo Answers! (I am sure that you meant “If I was president…” LOL!)

6. If I met Sunshine♥MattBaby I would ask her why!

2. When you’re going through hell, don’t quit running

3. If I was stuck in an elevator with Paris Hilton I would kill myself..

4. Whenever I think about you I want to dance the night away.

5. If I was president the first thing I would do is eliminate income and property taxes and greatly increase sales tax, so illegal immigrants paid taxes.

.6. If I met Sunshine♥MattBaby I would ask her to marry me. <3 <3

2. When you’re going through hell, don’t stop to admire the scenery

3. If I was stuck in an elevator with Paris Hilton I would wish I weren’t.

4. Whenever I think about you I want to think about being stuck in an elevator with Hayden Panettiere instead

5. I I was president the first thing I would do is resign

6. If I met Sunshine♥MattBaby I would ask her “D’you really know James Arness?”

2. When you’re going through hell, don’t catch on fire!

3. If I was stuck in an elevator with Paris Hilton I would tell her that she is still the dumb blonde that she always was.

4. Whenever I think about you I want to shoot cookies.

5. If I was president the first thing I would do is put Bush in full gear and send him to Iraq to fight the war. He goes to church so I just want to make sure that he really understands what it means by “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”.

6. If I met Sunshine♥MattBaby I would ask her, “Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Cuz I can…”

When you’re going through hell, don’t forget the BBQ sauce.

If I was stuck in an elevator with Paris Hilton I would scream.

Whenever I think about you I want to write something.

If I was president the first thing I would do is cut taxes.

If I met Sunshine MattBaby I would ask her how much writing she actually does in one day?

#2. Don’t stop to smell the roses ’cause there ain’t any.

#3. throw up

#4. hit the ol’ keyboard and see what your next question is.

#5. Give Bush a big raspberry and say, “Nannie nannie boo boo!

#6. ask her, “What are you gonna do with X and Z?

2. dig deeper.

3. roll my eyes and tell her how much of an idiot she is.

4. throw you in the pool.

5. cut all federal funding to the terrorist countries that hate us.

6. if she wanted to have a girl’s night out drinking and dancing!

2. Mention my name.

3. Kill myself

4. Ask you why you ask silly questions

5. Enact Universal Health Care for everyone

6. absolutely nothing

2. make any stops.

3. talk to her like any other human being.

4. thank you for caring about children and music.

5. bring all troops home, remove all guns from our country, double the minimum wage, tear down the wall between US and Mexico, provide health care for all citizens, eliminate illegal drug use and trafficking

6. “What about the Rifleman?”