“The light from your sparkly brown eyes shines through my soul.”

The heart of my soul skipped a beet when the light from your sparkly brown eyes shed through it.

If I’m completely honest i don’t really like the sentence at all. It seems too cheesy. Though i like the fact that yu have forefronted the word ‘light’, this anhas the effect of personifying the light rather than her actul eyes.

Furthermore, i don’t really think the use of light and sparkly should be used together to describe the eyes, because light seems pure whereas sparkly seems bubbly. They contradict one another.

Here are some examples of what i think would sound better. (but this is just my opinion)

Your bright brown eyes shot light through my soul,

You pierced my soul with the light of your bright brown eyes.

With the gaze of your bright brown eyes, you shed through the layers of my soul, until all that was left was my bare core, vulnerable and exposed.

To make descriptive sentences sound better like that you should try to incorporate some techniques such as alliteration (words beginning with the same letter) ‘the Bumbling Bear Bounced and Bounded’ or sibilance (‘S’ sounds). ‘The SnakeS Slunk through the graSS Stealthily’.

I’ll leave some links below that will give you examples of techniques such as assonance, sibilance, alliteration, and consonance.

I hope that I’ve been helpful. I really hope I haven’t been too critical and offended you, I just wanted to be helpful and I know that its hard to act as a critique to your own work.

The light from your sparkly brown eyes shed through my soul “?

The sparkling light of your brown eyes overwhelmed my soul

The light from your sparkly brown eyes shed upon my soul.

peace><>

The light from your sparkly brown eyes has pierced by soul (and my heart is at risk).

“the light from your sparkly brown eyes seeps through my soul” – change the word ‘shed’ not sounding too right. Other options could be ‘engulfs’, ‘warms’, enlivens…

The word ‘shed’ doesn’t fit…shed is like what trees do in the autumn [leaves fall off] and what snakes do with last year’s skin every spring [skin comes off]. Try for words like “beam” or “shine” or “glows” ..you’ll get the meaning, but with the right verb pertaining to those brown eyes!

‘The light from your sparkly brown eyes permeates my soul”

once I get a solid analyzing i take advantage of my hands. I carry one hand between my 2 hands and close my eyes and get photos of their life. i don’t comprehend if I see what they’re seeing. i will could desire to attempt analyzing a blind man or woman. whilst i seem at a man or woman i will work out what style of man or woman they’re. a great style of folk have like a coating around them, a depressing charisma in case you like, of like smudge or darkness and that they are many times druggies or alcoholics. Others seem to polish or glow, those are human beings happy and taking section in like. some human beings only creep you out once you notice them, they simply radiate evil.