A few days ago
Aravis

Can you critique my writing assn?

Ok so i’m not really that good at writing it just doesn’t come easy to me. And my teacher asked us to do a quote assn. And she gave us all these cliche’s that we had to choose from and right how we’ve experianced them in real life. She gave us stuff like “if first you don’t sucseed try try again” and “early bird gets the worm”. So I picked “when it rains it pours”. And i was wondering if you can tell me if its acceptable or tell me what things need working on it.

” When it Rains it Pours”

Dakotah Schickling 10/1/07

This quote is about how sometimes when one little thing goes wrong, something just as bad happens after that

and it just keeps worse. I think of it as falling down a flight of stairs. I experianced this last summer when my

friend Amy and I went on a trip to Canada. The first thing that went wrong was that when we got to the border, we

couldn’t find are birth certificates. So we were freaking out opening suitcases and bags untill finnally we found

them under a seat. And after that we got lost on the way to the camp site and by the time we got their it was

pouring rain. It rained the next day also so that we couldn’t go to Marine Land because closes when it rains. So

we basically stayed in our tent being bored and playing card games hoping it would be sunny the next day. So it

turned out to be a beuatiful day me and Amy were exited because we were going to go to paramount park. But of

course their was a flaw, over the night Amys mom got really sick, so we had to pack up everything and go all the

way back to New York, without doing any of the fun things we planned.

Top 1 Answers
A few days ago
don’t plagiarize

Favorite Answer

good basics. run spell check if you do not know how to spell some words. remember, spell check can not tell the difference between sow, sew, so or to, too, two or our, are. therefore you will have to reread it to make sure the correct word is used. also, you have a couple of extra “that” words

wrong was when we arrived at the border

amy and i were excited

amy’s mom

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