A few days ago
Anonymous

What do you guys think so far??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! help w/ my paper!!!?

Time of My Life

It was one in the morning when we began to unpack. Mom was cooking for the two of us. It was no surprise mom was always cooking for us 24/7. Mom was a small woman, she had previously been injured at her job so she was always limping, despite her injuries she had always been so kind and caring. My little brother bean so innocent and dependent on others had been ill and he was never able to sustain a job. Here in America we hoped things would change for the better.

‘’I’m off to work Mom!’’ I said in a thrilled voice.

‘’Alright sweetie Amanda take care!’’ She replied as if she had forgotten to tell me something.

I headed down the street, five miles seemed to have passed quickly today. I worked at Bagels Factory very filthy place but I didn’t care I was just glad to have a job; to be helping my family out I had always been a very optimistic person.

Top 1 Answers
A few days ago
Disco_Lem0naid

Favorite Answer

Put a period after “it was no surprise”. Take out “mom was a small woman” it doesn’t fit. Put a period after “limping”. Change “bean” to being, but put a comma after “my little brother”. Use either “sweetie” or “amanda”, but not both. Put a comma after “factory” and change to “a very filthy place,” After “job” put “that enabled me to help my family out. I’ve always been optimistic”

Thats about it.

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