A few days ago
Anonymous

Please revise this paragraph plz change the sentences make them flow?

[Read John 10:27-30.] Jesus spoke of his followers as being his sheep. Now that Jesus is back in heaven we do not see him like we see our parents or our friends at school. Jesus loves you that he wants to protect you and be prosperous when you get a job. He wants you to trust him like you trust your parents. You are in good hands with your parents because you know they love you no matter what. But someone loves you even more than that… Jesus! You are in God’s hand when you trust Jesus as your Lord. God’s hands are steady and sure, safe and sound. When you are in a difficult situation for example, your friends break off your relationship with them, Jesus will still love you no matter what. Even if you did something bad such as not going to church on Sunday regularly, Jesus will always hold on to you and will never let anyone or anything separate you from his love. He is always watching over you.

if you change sentences around and make them more flow then ill give you 10pts.

Top 1 Answers
A few days ago
hey_its_jessica

Favorite Answer

Your sentences are really choppy and slightly repetitive. Try not to keep starting your sentences with Jesus was, Jesus is, etc. Also, if something is related to something else, combine the sentences. Try not to change between present and past tense, it makes the paper harder to read.

[Read John 10:27-30] Jesus spokeof his followers being his sheep. (Explain why they’re like his sheep, because to the reader, this is unclear). Because Jesus is no longer present in our everyday lives as our friends and our parents are we don’t think of him or go to him the same way. Like our parents do, Jesus will always love us no matter what mistakes we make. For example, not going to church every Sunday is bad, but he will always hold on to us and nothing can be bad enough to take us away from his love. If we lose the relationships, Jesus is always there for us to turn to. What we don’t think about is, he wants us to be prosperous in our lives and he wants to keep us safe. He will always be there for us and love us. Jesus is always watching.

Hope I helped!

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