A few days ago
Anonymous

please revise and edit my paragraph please?

If people believing in evolution ask me how I can tell God is the one who created you, I would answer simply to look at the nature and your own bodies. Then, they would be wondering what I am talking about. If so, I’d inform them all the forests, animals, and we are created by an omnipotent, transcendent creator, my God. The crowd once again wonders how I can tell God is accompanied with me right this moment since the people cannot see, touch, or feel him. In that case, I bring scientific evidence. For instance, water freezes at zero degrees Celsius, but it doesn’t freeze in the deep water. It has some kind of heat. Therefore, fishers in the North Pole go fishing even if the temperature is way below minus thirty degrees Celsius. If the water that is not on the top froze at the zero degrees, all fish, plankton, and mammals would eventually die because of the coldness. I would state that how amazing my God is that he classifies in every detail. He really cares our environment.

thank yo

Top 3 Answers
A few days ago
shaa s

Favorite Answer

teh
0

A few days ago
sn
If people who believed in evolution asked me how I can tell that God is the one that created them, I would answer simply, “look at nature and your own bodies.” Then they would be wondering what I was talking about. I would inform them that all the forests, animals, and people are created by an omnipotent, transcendent creator, God. The crowd would again wonder how I can tell God is with me in that moment since the people cannot see, touch, or feel him. In that case, I present scientific evidence. For instance, water freezes at zero degrees Celsius, but it doesn’t freeze in the deep water. It has some kind of heat. Therefore, fisherman in the North Pole go fishing even if the temperature is far below negative thirty degrees Celsius. If the water on the bottom froze at zero degrees, all fish, plankton, and mammals would die because of the intense cold. I would exclaim how amazing God is that he is present in every detail. He really cares about our environment.

You need to work on sticking to one verb tense, and you shouldn’t use the possessive “my” with God. It makes you sound stuck up. By the way, you might want to review some evidence surrounding evolution (fossils showing the actual changes, homologous structures, etc) so that you have some better counter arguments.

0

A few days ago
xtcwmeg
i think you should read this out loud…youre missing words, and adding words where they dont need to be. wordy paragraphs tend to be skimmed instead of thoroughly read. my suggestion would be to take out the “then”, “for instance”, “therefore”—these are just extras that have no relevance. im sure if you read out loud word for word what you have shared, you will hear the gaps in your writing, or where words have been omitted, or where it just doesnt make sense.
0