This is Henry Wu calling from Taiwan XXXX company.

Could I please talk to Minna? Hi..Minna…This is Henry calling from XXX. How are you today? I work in the sales & marketing department at XXX. I have been working here for one month. I am calling to ask you if you might need any assistance or information on our products. If yes, please let me know and reach me at my extension (333) or my e-mail. By the way,how is your business recently? How is the sales going on in your company? We are expecting to complete complex-factroy two by September 2008, which means we would increase the production capacity and shorten the delivery time. There is no doubt that we will assure the quality as well as improve our productive capability. We need more sales and we hope our deals can make more sales for us.

Well, I just revised the paragraph… The whole thing seems too stiff and scripted though.. Don’t forget to give your mail address or add information about what you really offer to her.. Good Luck!

This is Henry Wu from Taiwan XXXX company. Can I talk to Minna pls?Hi Minna,This is Henry from XXXX. How are you? I am from the sales and marketing department of XXXX. I have been here for a month. I want to ask if you need assistance or information regarding our products. If you do, you can reach me at extension (333) or by e-mail.(you should indicate this actually)By the way, how is your business? I heard you had a sale. We are expecting the completion of factory complex two by September 2008, which will increase the production capacity and shorten the delivery time. We assure the quality even if the production capacity increases. We need to boost our sales and we hope our deals will be translated to sales.

This is shorter, cleaner, and more focused. You need to pay more attention to the content of your spiel. Some of the content you have is inappropriate or lacks relavence.

Corrected version:

Hi, my name is Henry Wu, and I am calling from XXXX company based out of Taiwan. Can I talk to Minna?

Hi..Minna…This is Henry calling from XXX a Taiwan-based manufacturer of xxxxx. How are you today? I wated to talk to you for a couple of reasons. First, I wanted to let you know that we are expecting to complete our second mamufacturing facility this September. Our increase in production capacity will result in shorter order completion times for our customers. In addition, as production capacity increases, we will be incorporating additional quality controls to maintain the high standards that our cusutomers have come to expect from us.

The other reason for my call is the find out if you need any assistance or information on our products. You can always reach out to me at my extension (333) or via e-mail.

i am working as a……with sales and marketing dept……which means we will be INCREASING the production capacity…..we will assure the quality as well even if there would be increase in production capacity….hope we could help each other to benifit both parties…

i hope this will help

……talk to Minna please?…as sales representative at…,I have been here for one month. How is business{h small letter].,We…….. hope our deals will take care of it.

Its all right. Except this, “I am working A SALES” I think it needs revising. and yeah, “I have been here for a month long” would be better.

And yeah! good luck for your call and deal!!