Lois: Brian, I can’t believe you’re going to be on “The Bachelorette”.

Meg: Yeah, I thought you said those shows were stupid.

Brian: They are stupid. But I figure I got a few days of free booze and free food before they kick me off. I could use a vacation.

Stewie: Oh yes, ‘cause you’ve got such a heavy workload around here. Mmm, how you coming on that novel you’re working on? Huh? Got a big stack of papers there? Got a, got a nice little story you’re working on there, the big novel you’ve been working on for three years? Yeah? Got a compelling protagonist? Got an obstacle for him to overcome? Little story brewing there, working on? Working on that for quite some time, huh? Talking about that three years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative; beginning, middle and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? Yeah? At the end, your main character is richer for the experience? Yeah, yeah? No, no, you deserve some time off!

Brian: I can’t believe I got sucked into that phony reality world just like everyone else. I became the very thing I was mocking.

Stewie: Oh, I know it hurts now, Brian, but look at the bright side. You have some new material for that novel you’ve been writing. You know, the novel you’ve been working on. You know, the one you’ve been working on for three years? You know the novel? You’ve got something new to write about now. You know. Maybe your main character gets into a relationship? Suffers a little heartbreak? Something like, uh, what you’ve just been through? Draw from a real life experience? A little heartbreak? You know? Work it into the story? Make those characters a little more three dimensional? A little richer experience for the reader? Make those second hundred pages really keep the reader guessing what’s going to happen? Some twists and turns? A little epilogue? Everybody learns the hero’s journey isn’t always a happy one? Oh, I look forward to reading it!