A few days ago
Anonymous

Just 2 sentences help?

I (Natalie) spun around, just as my father grabbed my throat and pulled out a knife, yelling hysterically, “You will die, kid!”

and coud anyone help me write 2 or 3 sentences after this sentence to elaborate or “unpackage” the emotions or to draw it out…make it graphic…would u be able to do 1 sentence on the father’s emotions or sumthing…and then another sentence or two on her emotions/feelings…like “I could feel his fingers imprinting on my neck…I was scared to death….” sumthing of that sort of thing please! Thanks!!

Top 4 Answers
A few days ago
Anonymous

Favorite Answer

My mind was filled with terror.As I am fearing death, I fell to a prayer, “Oh my dearest God, I can bear this no longer, to be of my father’s tight captive – with his painful thusts and grips that wrapped around my neck.”

The harsh voice yelling out louder with pure anger and frenzy, “You will really die, kid!”

,tore before my father’s very eyes, his young daughter’s heart.

I gasped for air and said this with my heart full of despair, “Oh God, the agony, I’m suffering, please

don’t let me die. Father, dear father, please spare me, I’m your daughter.”

..i dunno if it’s good..i’m kinda tired..i’ll try to improve it if you want to..(lol)..i was amazed by Kaare Norge’s guitar performance (youtube) that really blazed my mind with excitement and awe.

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A few days ago
angela
I would focus more on your feelings, not your dad’s. The reason is that you are telling this first person, therefore you are the main character. What you wrote about feeling his fingers is good. Then sum up what happened. Does he kill you or does he drop the knife, or what?
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A few days ago
iknowthemuffinman
I tried to scream but nothing could come out. My neck was going numb as I felt his cold, hard fingers press tighter against my neck. As I drew my last breath he let go, but it was too late. He had killed his only daughter. Hed stood there in shock…. “What have I done?”
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A few days ago
Britmeister :]]]
it would sound good if you put “I could feel his fingers imprinting on my neck,” because it explains how Natalie felt when that was going on.
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