…American Nightmare. (stop that sentence there)

-the next two sentences don’t make sense; reword them

-your thesis doesn’t state your argument/ I’ve read other parts of your paper, where you argue that the American Dream isn’t real– you should state that as your argument in your thesis: Curly’s wife’s acting career… all show that the American Dream….

2) one-half (write it out)

3) millions of people, (comma)

4)whole sentence is clumsy—try millions of people, not all of them Americans, who are working hard every day and cannot fill their basic needs.

5) Of Mice and Men clearly expressed the futility of The Dream in those passages dealing w Curly’s wife’s acting career, Lenny and George’s dream of having their own ranch

and Crook’s realization that it is all a myth.