Keep up the good work. .

-“But, there is more to it then just that.”/ “Still, it is more than that.” (It needs to be revised).

-“knowledge and understanding” repeats “enlightenment” (What about this: “Veganism is about love and compassion, knowledge and understanding.”)

-You have an argument, but the “to a degree” makes it sound wishy-washy.

It’s a good start. Just clarify more, and be bold. Good luck.

Keep working like that!

For example instead of “You may ask.. write Many people wonder. The definition of veganism in Webster’s dictionary is….

instead of But, there is more… write For Vegans themselves it means much more. To them it is about love…

Try to sound a bit objective, and not too persuasive

really make sure you have smooth transition from the intro to the body. After you finish the body, make sure your intro still makes sense with what you wrote. Often as people write their ideas/focus may shift a little and can cause the intro to not make sense, so be careful of that.