A few days ago
Chess

How can I make this sentence sound better?

The lonely and revengeful mood that the melody creates help to form vivid images of the assassin’s life thus allowing the audience to further understand the suffering in the assassin’s life.

Top 7 Answers
A few days ago
♫Music♫

Favorite Answer

The melody creates a lonely and revengeful mood, forming vivid images of the assassin’s life. This allows the audience to understand the suffering in the life of the assassin.

that seems like a run on.

0

A few days ago
greydrakkon
The lonely and VENGEFUL mood that the melody creates help to form vivid images of the assassin’s life, thus allowing the audience to further understand the suffering he/she experiences.

Revengeful sounds goofy in that context, vengeful means the same thing and flows better. Don’t forget the comma after “life”, there is a natural pause for breath right there. Try not to repeat the bulk of a sentence, so change “understand the suffering in the assassin’s life.” to the he/she (whichever one applies) .

0

A few days ago
AngeloElectro
The melody creates a lonely and revengeful mood which helps form vivid images of the assassin’s life, allowing the audience to feel and further understand the suffering he has endured throughout his lifetime.
1

A few days ago
Anonymous
The lonely and revengeful mood this melody creates, helps form vivid images of the Assassin’s life;allowing the audience to appreciate the suffering he endured.
0

A few days ago
Anonymous
Try this …

The lonely, revengeful mood the melody creates helps to form vivid images of the assassin’s life, thus allowing the audience to further understand his suffering.

1

A few days ago
Anonymous
“The lonely and revengeful mood created by the melody helps to form vivid images of the assassin’s life, thus allowing the audience to further understand the suffering withing his/her being”
0

A few days ago
~*~Jessie~*~
I like it how it is, kepp it like that! It’s amazing, Good luck with your homework!!
0