A few days ago
Can anyone proofread this sentence?
Lord makes it clear, by using historical details, that the sinking of the Titanic involved plenty of prejudice that resulted in the deaths of many people who boarded the ship as anything other than a First-Class passenger, or at the very least, a Second-Class passenger.
Top 5 Answers
A few days ago
Favorite Answer
A suggestion: Divide it into two sentences: for example:
Lord uses historical details to prove that a high incidence of prejudice resulted in the deaths of mostly lower class passengers. People who boarded the Titanic, primarily as First-Class and secondarily, as Second-Class passengers, were most likely to survive the sinking of the ship.
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A few days ago
Lord makes the facts surrounding the sinking of the Titanic clear through the use of historical details. Prejudice played a role in the deaths of many people who boarded the ship. Most all of those who died were not first-class passengers.
Your sentence structure seems to say tht prejudice played a role in the sinking….it is not clear that prejudice played a role in the deaths of those who were not first class….too many words…too many clauses….short and sweet to clarify your thoughts.
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A few days ago
It is grammatically correct but very long and complicated. “Plenty” is not the best word to use. Just leave it out.
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A few days ago
say “a great deal of prejudice”
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A few days ago
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