A few days ago
Zahro k

Can anybody read my short essay and tell me what do you think?

If there is any mistakes please make corrections and if it is not organized well organize please. thanks

my topic is: Some people work too hard and they don’t have time to build relationship with their family and friends?

The world is changing faster than ever in the past couple of decades and today some people work too hard to make some money and sustain financial status. However, these may lead to a huge impact on social life and health.

First of all, when people spend too much time on work, they don’t have time for their families or children. As a result, it can have a negative effect on marriage life . Spouses of workaholics often feel estranged from their mates and express less affection and more likely to divorce. Moreover, the children may feel they are less taken care of by their parents and may grow isolated from their parents.

Top 6 Answers
A few days ago
Anonymous

Favorite Answer

Here are a few changes ….

Today’s world is changing rapidly. Some people work too hard to make money and sustain financial status, leading to a huge negative impact on their health and social lives.

When people focus too much on work, they don’t have time for their families or children, resulting in a negative effect on married life . Spouses of workaholics often feel estranged from their mates and express less affection and are more likely to divorce. The children may feel they are not well taken care of by their parents and may grow isolated from them.

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A few days ago
cutiepatutie3271
The world has been changing faster than ever during these past couple of decades. Today, some people work too hard to make money, and sustain financial status. This may actually end up having a huge impact on social life and health.

First of all, when citizens spend a large number of hours on work, they don’t have time for their families, or children. As a result, it can have a negative effect on marriage life. Spouses of workaholics often feel estranged from their mates, and express less affection; they could also be more likely to divorce. Moreover, their children may feel like they’re less taken care of by their parents, and may grow to become isolated from their guardians.

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A few days ago
calypso queen 09
good essay, i just made a few small recommendations that you’ll see as you read. btw, if ur writing “first of all”, you should start your next point with “secondly”. Or you could change “first of all” to “primarily” and keep “moreover”. hope this helps!

With fast changes in the world, people work too hard to make money and to attain financial status. However, this may lead to a huge impact on social life and health. First of all, when people spend too much time on work, they don’t have time for their families or children. As a result, it can have a negative effect on married life. Spouses of workaholics often feel estranged from their mates and express less affection, and consequently are more likely to divorce. Moreover, the children may feel neglected by their parents, and may grow apart from them.

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A few days ago
Liz
i don’t think you need any help at all… you got it all figured out… by the way, your staring sentance is really good.
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A few days ago
irisheyes
This is really good. You did good research.
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A few days ago
smileysky
i thought it was great good job
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