A few days ago
Any improvements to this sentence?
The complex and lonely trait that Arthur Bremer possessed motivated Peter Gabriel into writing a song about the silent thoughts and emotions of the would-be killer.
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A few days ago
Favorite Answer
Arthur Bremer’s complex loneliness inspired Peter Gabriel to write a song about the would-be killer.
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A few days ago
“Complex and lonely”, “silent”, “thoughts and emotions” must go! You are writing prose, not poetry.
“Peter Gabriel was sufficiently interested in the disordered mentality of Arthur Bremer – the would-be assassin – that he wrote a song about it.”
Having said that, I must admit that I never heard the song. Maybe it was the nutcase himself, rather than his mentality, that interested Gabriel. In that case, it would conclude with the word “him” instead of “it”.
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A few days ago
Excellent!!!!
Ciao Bella !!!! Bella!!!
It’s very well-written—sounds interesting…
Writing a novel???
Good Luck!!!
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A few days ago
I think its good.
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