This is not normal homeschooling. These are the kind of people that give homeschoolers a bad name. At least one of the parents should be home with him during the day, and both at night or whenever they are both off work. NO SCHOOL is going to work WITHOUT A TEACHER. I don’t care if the curriculum is written in such a way that the child can learn by himself or not, there must be an adult present for counseling, guidance, and discipline. So no, this is not what homeschooling is like. I was home schooled K-12, and I have since went on to college for 2 years. As for reporting this, try Child and youth services, or report it to the local school district as truancy case.

While homeschooling is perfectly fine and legal and I usually encourage it over Public School, leaving a 12 year old unsupervised all day is not fine, and in my state it is not legal. Someone should be there to supervise, even the parents are “unschooling” the child. In the state I live, it is not legal to leave a child younger than 13 home alone, and not legal to leave a child younger than 15 alone in car. I would check into the laws in your state, and if the parents are in violation then you certainly are within your rights to report them, but homeschooling is not the real issue, it is being left unsupervised.

Oh and by the way, this is NOT what homeschooling is usually like, and homeschoolers do NOT usually use homeschooling as a way around the child protective system. The vast majority of homeschoolers chose homeschooling because they want a better, safer, more academic environment for thier kids.

The problem doesn’t appear to be the boy’s education (or lack of it), but rather, that he requires a babysitter.

Now that he’s not at school, getting expensive government-funded babysitting, his parents should come up with another babysitting solution for him.

Education should be about more than someone watching a kid so he doesn’t set the trash cans on fire. Unfortunately, public schooling has become glorified babysitting services.

I’m wondering what was happening at school, that after some years in the educational system, this kid is apparently such a hellion. It may be that the school system was eating him alive – making it difficult for the parents to teach him morals, or encourage positive behavior – and the parents pulled him out in desperation.

I would simply speak to the parents and let them know you are concerned about his safety. And I would recommend they hire a babysitter or another homeschooler to take him in during the day.

This isn’t a homeschooling issue. It is a neglect issue. The child is not mature enough to be home alone. He is engaging in dangerous activities which should be reported to the police and fire department as these activities could cause harm to himself or to others.

I wouldn’t deal with the education officials as this isn’t really an education issue (are the public schools even in session where you are located?) It’s about the safety of a child and those who live around him.

Often people want to label something as a homeschooling problem but this clearly is a situation where a child is not capable of being home left alone and the parents are being neglectful if they do so.

When I was twelve you could have left me home alone with ten children and everyone would be happy. Twelve year olds should be able to take care of themselves for a reasonable amount of time.

The big issue here is the fire setting and other mischief that is not acceptable and his parents need to be made aware of it.

If they are already aware of it and unsure of what to do short of sending him to boot camp, they may feel attacked by your ‘prying’.

I know when I’ve taken a risk with my kids, like leaving them in the car for five minutes to get milk, and someone second guesses me, I feel attacked. Yes it might not have been the best decision but it was my decision to make.

Perhaps they took him out of school for having done something terrible like having sex with a six year old and this is his punishment. Setting fire to the garbage bins may be his way of getting his parents to send him back to school. They may well be getting home after a long day of work and trying to do school with him then.

It can be mind bogglingly hard for parents to discipline children who decide they’re going to be bad. Here in Canada a fourteen year old can decide not to live at home anymore and go and live with old men or druggies and there’s nothing the parents can do legally.

If you’re not in the position to offer help wait it out let the parents know, set yourself a date and if it continues then call police, child services etc… asking them all if someone can ‘please help this family’.

If you look for the bad in someone you will always find it because nobody’s perfect.

The simple answer to your question, “what’s wrong with kids today” is parents. Ultimately, the responsibility for raising a child to have decent morals and respect for themselves and others falls on the parents. But too many parents abdicate this responsibility to the public schools, who are ill-equipped to teach our children basic facts, let alone morals. So, the kids end up learning their morals from the other kids they hang around with.

Unfortunately, most states limit the authority of child welfare departments to just physical/emotional/sexual abuse and neglect, which does not encompass (if not outright forbidding) educational neglect cases. If you want to get involved, ask the kid over and give him some direction, mentor him, guide him, be a friend. Those are pretty much your only options.

Well, at 12, it seems this lad is very much the victim of his parents.

Details of his education and discipline (or lack of it) are really none of your business and you should probably butt out and let them sink or swim without your interference. It isn’t your responsibility or business to ‘get this little punk back in school where there is discipline’.

However, saying that, I’d say that if you honestly believe this kid’s lack of parental supervision is putting him or his life in danger, then you should call Community Services. You’ll probably be taken far more seriously and given far more credibility if you word your concerns as ‘I’m worried about the physical risks and the neglect he’s being exposed to’ rather than expressing the view that he’s a ‘punk’ who needs to be forced back into school though – that just sounds like sour grapes and/or bitching on your part.

Well, older children – high school age – can certainly homeschool themselves, they should be fairly independent by then. However, a 12yo does not fit that bill.

I really wouldn’t call the cops to investigate his schooling; that gets really touchy, and can have bad results all around. I would call them in to investigate the destructive behavior – setting fire to trash cans and setting off firecrackers unsupervised (and not during 4th of July) is illegal in many areas. This is cut and dry, the fire marshal and the police will be able to work that out cleanly with the parents. Under legal order, they will most likely either make sure he has structure and supervision during the day, or send him back to school.

No, this is not homeschooling. Homeschooling couldn’t be further from that. It comes in many forms, from structured to unstructured, but every form of it gives the child a lifestyle of learning that is tailored to their needs.

However, homeschooling is legal in all states, even though a select few abuse that right. Honestly, this kid may have been kicked out of school and is now online only – who knows? You’d be better off reporting the behavior than the fact that he “homeschools” (term used loosely).

Good luck!

Instead of thinking of him as a punk, first set your mind in a possitive direction. He is a child. If you are home and see him outside without supervision, could you ask him if he wants a snack? Befriend the child and his parents. See if you can be part of a solution. Home schooling is tailored education, just as you suspected, and can happen even if the parents work. However, the latter is much trickier. A parent with no child care must assume that the child is acting appropriately and that if he was not, neighbors would make it known. The silence may lead them to believe that everything is going well. Make a choice to assume the best of these parents and see what you can do to help. If you know them well and are home during the day, perhaps you can ask the parents if they would like their young man to do his independant studies in your house during the day. Think also what you would want another person to do if your child was acting inappropriately. You would want someone to have the courage to tell you, I think. I know I would. What may be wrong today is that people are afraid to talk directly to other people. We are afraid of direct confrontations. We leave that to people we call the “professionals” and we create walls between ourselves and others. What are we teaching our children? What is wrong with US? We think first to tattle to the authorities when we could offer to be a help.

If they ignore you or deny that their son is making mischief in the neighborhood while unattended, you have the civic duty to report the family to child protective services AND the fire marshal AND the local school: doing all three will ensure that the case does not fall between the cracks. It will be more likely that something will be done speedily, as it should be when neglect is truly happening. However, please give them a chance. Let them nicely know that the son has been mischevious and let them now specific information. Document times and days, if you can. I know I would want someone to tell me if my child was not behaving well. A child who thinks he can get away with doing the wrong thing only learns to be more crafty and a parent who is left in the dark only mourns all the more when the lights finally turn on. Be a good neighbor and go over to the parents when they are home and talk kindly to them with the interests of the child at heart. Go as a supporter to home education and to their choices and to their son. If you come across as cruel or skeptical of their choices or abilities, they will tune you out. Wouldn’t you do the same? Go in love and share what you know with them out of a sincere heart and it will show. If they don’t receive that then you will have to do the hard thing and report neglect. Contrary to Robert Frost’s assessment of what makes good neighbors, I say strong bridges make good neighbors. Try building one tonight! 🙂

Holy cow. No, this is NOT typical of homeschooling. If the school year hasn’t started yet, then call the police; they will direct you to a more appropriate agency if necessary or look into it themselves. If the school year has started where you live, check out the homeschooling laws for your state at http://www.hslda.org and see if the family is supposed to be registered with a school district. If so, call the school district. If not, the police.