Please revise this sentence please?
I think its grammatically correct but I want to make it sound better. want to use another word in place of shown, is shown or showed right, and don’t know if I need to use “with you” but would sentence sound right without it? This sentence is in response to my boyfriend 33 responding and being understanding what is bothering me. Please revise this with right grammar even though it is probably right, thanks
Favorite Answer
A love that is greater because you have shown me how to give it away.
The peaceful, safe feeling that I am filled with when I am with you allows me share my feelings with you.
eat your heart out shakespear…lol!
Shown is probably alright in this situation.
You have an unnecessary comma in your sentence (“share my feelings” can’t stand by itself). Secondly, the wording just sounds odd. “With you” doesn’t work unless you word it the way I did. If you have to have it your way, then “around you” works much better. Always remember parallel structure (the parallel in my sentence is “to be” and “to share”).
Please tell me this IS NOT an internet romance or that he is 33 and you are 15 ?????
or… I love the way you make me feel safe to be the person that I am and let me share my feelings with you.
the best of luck.
- Academic Writing
- Accounting
- Anthropology
- Article
- Blog
- Business
- Career
- Case Study
- Critical Thinking
- Culture
- Dissertation
- Education
- Education Questions
- Essay Tips
- Essay Writing
- Finance
- Free Essay Samples
- Free Essay Templates
- Free Essay Topics
- Health
- History
- Human Resources
- Law
- Literature
- Management
- Marketing
- Nursing
- other
- Politics
- Problem Solving
- Psychology
- Report
- Research Paper
- Review Writing
- Social Issues
- Speech Writing
- Term Paper
- Thesis Writing
- Writing Styles