Henry Cornielius Agrippa von Nettesheim: One of the most famous occultists of the middle ages. His work has gone on to inspire hundreds of “magical” books and writings. Despite all his occult knowledge, he died in poverty at age 41 in 1532.

Cagliostro, a famous French-Egyptian “magician”, did the most embarrassing things, like putting a teacup on his erect penis and telling women “This is the only Bishop you will bow to!” He died in the Bastille in 1795.

John Dee discovered Enochian Magick and tried unsuccessfully to get the spirits to bring him money. He spent the final years of his life stripped of his honors and income and was forced to live incommunicado. He died in extreme poverty at 81.

Paracelsus: Thought himself a great physician, but he was really just an alchemist who had bizarre theories about human anatomy and prescribed dangerous remedies for his patients. This man was said to be arrogant and conceited, and was shunned by the other medical experts of his day.

He died broke at the age of 48.

Edward Kelly: An assistant of Dee, after failing to strike it rich with Enochian Magick, he was killed trying to escape prison. He had been imprisoned for his old hobby, counterfeiting.

Aleister Crowley had a nervous breakdown in spent 4 months in an insane asylum after trying to conjure a demon in a Paris hotel. In 1947 he died impoverished in a flophouse, forgotten by his family, a drug addict and alcoholic, despite strating out in life as a rich heir to Crowley Ale. He squandered it all on drugs and whores. “Success is your proof ” – -Liber Al Vel Legis 3:46, Aleister Crowley

Gurdijef was a Russian con man who got involved in many money making scams. Once he dyed sparrows in peroxide and sold them as canaries! Even his biographers admit he had a “streak of charaltainism” about him. He created a system of bunk psychotherapy which is convoluted and even people who practice it can’t clearly explain what is. In other words, it was the forerunner of Scientology.

Christian Rosenkrutz never actually existed. The whole Rosicrucian thing was started as a joke to make fun of occultists by a Lutheran minister named Valentin Andrea.

The Fox Sisters started the whole spiritist/seance’ movement in 1840. Years later they confessed the whole thing had been a hoax, but no one wanted to listen.

Samuel “Macgregor” Mathers: Eventually all the members of te Golden Dawn figured out Mathers lied about the secret chiefs, which led to him being kicked out, & the Golden Dawn being disbanded. He died in poverty from Pnumonia in 1918.

Jack Parsons blew himself up in his basement, making nitroglycerin, which he sold on the black market to supplement his income (apparently his money spells didn’t work, either!).

Pamela Coleman Smith painted the illustrations for Authur Edward Waite’s tarot deck, one of the most popular decks being used today. She died penniless and alone in a London flat.

Paschal Beverly Randolph inspired people like Aleister Crowley, the members of the O.:T.:O.:., and Henri Gamache. His books are still in print. He committed suicide at age 44, leaving his wife and son to live in poverty.

They couldn’t make the occult work, neither can anyone else.

Here’s a quote from Wiccan Tradition Head Silver Ravenwolf:

“For years I couldn’t afford to go to a hair stylist (still can’t, it’s shop and chop for me). I got pretty good at stying my own hair from looking at magazine pictures” [SOURCE: Teen Witch, Llewellyn Publications, 2003 edition, page 145]

She also wrote a book about Prosperity spells. Does she sound like she can make it work? She can’t even afford a hairdresser! My wife just spent $100 at the beauty parlor and we’re far from rich.

Here’s another quote from that same book:

“A lot of people tell me how bad their lives have gotten after casting a spell and tell me they won’t do Witchcraft anymore. I tell them their lives would have been much worse for not having cast the spell.”

If you want to really have a good life, ditch the occult.

Oh, all right. If you insist….

Hocus pocus

wing of bat

spider’s web

and tail of rat

Nightshade mixed

with eye of cow

LET ME SEE___________NOW!!

You know, I think you might want to just use your car (or your feet, a telephone, whatever) instead. That might be a more effective way to “reach out and touch someone”! But, different strokes for different folks……good luck with that!