George and Thelma were riding down a little country road on a bicycle built for two. It was their 50th anniversary and they had decided to get away from it all. There was something exciting and romantic about taking a trip to the wilderness that appealed to both of them.

The Bicycle ride had been Thelma’s idea. Down the road they flew with Thelma grinning ear to ear and George grimly hanging on for dear life. Thelma giggled like a shoolgirl. “Land sakes, George, I haven’t felt this young in years. I feel just like a kid in a candy shop!” “Right,” grumped George, “I know how you feel. Except we’re about 65 years too old for that. More like sunshine, lollipops and Geritol. Are you trying to give me a HEART ATTACK?!” “Well, George,” said Thelma reproachfully, “we planned this trip together. I thought you said that a little exercise in the outdoors would be good for us, and now you go and spoil the fun. That is just SO not helpful”.

Thelma was an eternal optimist. George was an ornery old curmudgeon. Somehow their temperments balanced each other out. They had had a good life together. Thelma’s one regret was that they had been too conservative. They should have spent more of those years taking chances and having some adventures along the way. There’s still time, thought Thelma. Better late than never.

As they bumped along a pine covered hill, they heard a rustling noise. George looked over his shoulder in time to see a brown, furry behemoth emerging from the trees. “My God, Thelma! A bear is chasing us!. Pedal for your life, woman!!” They picked up speed. So did the bear. Suddenly, the trail took a steep, downward turn. George laughed crazily. If this infernal thing could fly, they’d be airborne. The bear bellowed behind them.

The trail ended abruptly at a main road with the entrance to a KOA campground on the opposite side. The front bike tire hit the asphalt, stopping their forward momentum and flinging them high into the air. They somersaulted forward, almost clearing the road before landing on their behinds and skidding to a stop. Seconds later, occupants of a car going 30 miles an hour got the surprise of their lives as the bear’s snout smacked into the driver’s side window. Unharmed and frightened, the bear bolted into the woods. On the news that night, the local announcer told the story of their encounter. They were also in the paper the next day. The headline read: BOTTOMS UP! BRAVE COUPLE BEARLY OUTRUN GRIZZLY.

They returned home with road rash and a great story. George sighed. “I love you, Thelma,” he said, “but next vacation, let’s just have a quiet adventure that doesn’t involve bears and bicycles, okay?” “Okay,” said Thelma impishly, “but you didn’t mention anything about bungee jumping”.

I was just sitting here beside the mountain stream, doing your homework when I began to hear a familiar song way off in the distance….Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer due. I’m half crazy all for the love of you……I’m listening ever so intently, when I hear a female voice scream 6.) A bear is chasing us!!

his voice:2.) Are you trying to give me a Heart Attack!!! AAHHH!

her voice: What did you think, that everything was just 3.)sunshine,lollypops and I was lying!!? Peddle Harry! Faster!

his voice: 4.) That is just So not Helpful!

her voice: Helpful!!? Peddle Faster Harry!!

Much to my surprise, I looked up and there they were on 1.) A bicycle built for two! Riding upstream with the bear close behind.

I know this sounds like a tall tale.

Ask the people on CNN, they interviewed the bear 5.) on the news that night.

Wow, what a day! I woke up this morning with visions of `sunshine, lollypops and an adventure`. So, I invited my best friend to join me on `a bicycle built for two` ride to see what fun we could have. We just began going to the south mountain pass anticipating what the day would bring when my friend who was on the back bike seat suddenly yelled `a bear is chasing us`!! `Are you trying to give me a heart attack`? i asked as he starting throwing our food at the bear…`that is just SO not helpful!! `On the news that night`..was a story about someone else being chased on their bike by a bear. Will I do that again?…no way.

i went on a camping trip with my friend. all we had were sinshine, lollypops and a bicycle built for two. that is just SO not helpful when you meet a bear. my friend was searching for a subspeicies of the common mountain slug. suddenly he heard a growl. he frantically ran back to me and said, “i heard somethign growling!” “are you trying to give me a HEART ATTACK?!” but then i heard it too. so we got on our bicycle and pedaled off. my friend looked behind us and said “a bear is chasing us!! and he’s gaining!” so i emptied out the bike basket and started hurling lollypops at it. the bear was only about five feet away from us, and it was MASSIVE, yet i still managed to miss. the bear growled at me, “i don’t LIKE lollypops! especially not string cheese flavored ones!” “oh well, we have Gorgonzola too!” “oooh, i like those…” “tell ya what, you can have all the Gorgonzola ones we’ve got if you don’t eat us.” “okay, deal.” On the news that night was the first-ever Gorgonzola cheese flavored lollypop eating bear.

p.s. you inspired me to make two of these. one of them has been out for a day and there haven’t been any actual answers yet. help?

“Come on, Matt-Baby,” Miss Sunshine pouted prettily. “It’s only A BICYCLE BUILT FOR TWO. Take me for a ride in the country. I’ll give you a lottipop if you will,” she teased fluttering her long lashes up at him.

“Ummmm,” Matt thought to himself. “Miss SUNSHINE, LOLLIPOPS AND ———. Oh, Lord! The possibilities that thought brought to mind! BUT, there was only one he was interested in, Being alone with Miss Sunshine stretched out on a blanket beside a babbling brook! “THAT IS JUST NOT SO HELPFUL. Why can’t we take the buggy?” he asked.

“Please,” she pouted again.

An hour later as they wobbled down a scenic country lane with Matt on the front seat, Miss Sunshine happily enjoyed the fresh air and nature’s beauty as Matt did all the peddling.

“Uh oh!” Miss Sunshine exclaimed. “I think A BEAR IS CHASING US!”

Matt laughed. ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK?”

“No! Look for yourself!” she cried in return.

“Drop the picnic basket!” he shouted back at her. “That should occupy him while we circle around and head back to town!”

ON THE NEWS THAT NIGHT, as the two peddled wearily into town, they heard the radio announcer say that a large renegade animal, possibly a bear, had been spoted South of Dodge. All efforts to track the animal down had failed.

Miss Kitty stood at the saloon window as the tired and sweaty peddlers rode by. She smiled as she turned to pet her heavy fur coat and drape it across her arm. “Time to put you away again until winter,” she laughed.

LOL I’m sorry but for just one time I had to let Miss Kitty have the edge.

The summer of 1977 lives on in my misty water colored memories. Right after we graduated high school, my best gal Peggy Sue and I went on a magical mystery tour of California. We didn’t have much money, so we never stayed in hotels, much less the Hotel California, if’n your wondering.

Peggy got it into her head that we should go on a “bikepacking” expedition to Yosemite National Park. I was agreeable, although it’d cost money to rent a bike, and they say our love won’t pay the rent. So we got us a Schwinn tandem, a bicycle built for two. Push, push, pedal; hee haw and away we go!!

We stopped in a meadow in the high country. Peggy had a backpacking tent, and I was floundering trying to set it up. Soon I was surrounded by tangled lines and aluminum stakes, while Peggy went to fetch some firewood. Upon coming back, seeing the mess, she said, “That is just SO not helpful. Did you read the dang directions?”

We roasted marshmallows, dipped into our supply of granola… and Peggy had a treat for us! Lollipops, lollipop, oh lolly lolly lolly!

“Sunshine, lollipops, and thou,” I said, lying back in the waning daylight, contented.

“Isn’t that supposed to be a loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou?” asked Peggy.

“Well, sure,” I replied. “But a jug o’ wine would weigh us down on the bike, and we’re not legal drinkin’ age anyways.”

I’d brought along my multifunction doohickey; it was a radio/flashlight/siren, and was powered by crank or solar energy or batteries. I gave it a good crank, and turned on the radio. Just one station… but on the news that night we heard that a something had washed up on the shore of Loch Ness and that scientists were giving it a going over!

Darkness came, and the stars were out — thousands of them, not like in the city. “Goodnight, sweetheart, goodnight,” I said. Peggy got the tent, and I was sleeping out under the stars. Didn’t you catch where I said we were underage? Well, Peggy was anyway. Her 18th birthday was still a couple o’ weeks away. Sixteen candles make a lovely light, but not quite as lovely as eighteen.

I awakened to the sound of snuffling and tearing, and I saw a vast shadow silhouetted against the horizon.

“Peggy wake up! A bear is chasing us!” I yelled, ducking into the tent and grabbing her.

“Are you trying to give me a HEART ATTACK?!” she screamed, then we were running just as fast as we can, holding on to one another’s hand, trying to get away into the night.

We tumbled to the ground some distance from our camp, and spent the night shivering in each other’s arms.

Early in the morning, very very early, day is dawning… “I didn’t get to sleep at all last night,” said Peggy.

We made our way back to the shambles the bear had left. Peggy’s pack had been ripped open, and all our food, even the lollipops, were gone. What a misadventure!

Sorry Sunshine, just didn’t have time this week-end.Thanks for waiting. I’ll try your next one !!!

Good luck choosing.

Upon awakening, Hannah slowly rubbed her eyes as she felt the drowsiness slowly giving way to awareness. Aware of the fact that today, she and her beloved would be having a day of sunshine, lollypops and the hope of creating another wonderful memory.

Suddenly, she jumped up from her thoughts and looked out the window to see a bicycle built for two. It was her latest purchase and she was excited about the events of the day. Hannah, hoped that Ian would love her surprise.

Snapping out of her thoughts and back to reality, Hannah rushed in to take her shower and prepared for Ian’s arrival. Quickly, she hurried and finished by placing her long, silky blonde hair into a ponytail. “There,” she thought. “This should keep my hair out of both our faces.” The doorbell rang and Hannah ran downstairs to meet Ian who was now, knocking! Hannah opened the door and they fell into an embrace as Ian walked her backwards, into the house. “So, what are we doing today”, asked Ian, who was now sitting on the couch, reaching for the remote control. Hannah, took the remote from his hand and bade him to come with her.

Following Hannah, Ian had no clue what he was about to see or, experience. Hannah, opened the door and when Ian looked out, there sat a bicycle made for two. “What are we doing with this,” Ian asked? “We are going to go riding and I wanted this to be a surprise for you,” said Hannah, with a little concern that Ian was not sharing her enthusiasm.

Ian could see her disappointment to his reaction. “Hannah,” let’s get this thing on the road and try it out”, exclaimed Ian.

So, Ian and Hannah got on the bike but, it did feel a little odd to them both, at first. Ian chose to take the front as Hannah took the second seat, excited and ready for this day…a day she hoped would be filled with memories.

Feeling more secure, and peddling in time, the two entered the woods, on the bike trail. It was wonderful, the cool wind, the beautiful trees and the shadows made by the sun trying to peer through the leaves. Instantly, the bicycle was heading downhill as Ian upped the rate of peddling! “Stop it Ian,” cried out Hannah! “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” Ian, laughed, “no, I was trying to get away from the bear which was chasing us”! “A Bear”, oh Ian, don’t be silly, there is and was no bear”! “Truly, Hannah, there was a brown bear….I saw him,” exclaimed Ian, feeling a little put out with Hannah. Hannah doubted Ian but, decided to let it go as she wanted this day to be filled with joy and laughter.

That evening, as they lay curled up on the couch, the nightly news came on. They both sat straight up and glared at the screen for on the news that night, they witnessed the bear which had attempted to attack another couple just moments after Ian had peddled them to safety. Realizing this, Hannah, grabbed Ian and apologized for not believing him earlier. Ian, playfully asked Hannah, “want to take a ride out there tonight”? Hannah gave Ian a little punch as she scorned him…”That is just SO not helpful” cried out Hannah! “Now, I will be afraid of the woods and if you keep teasing me, it will only make it worse.”

Ian saw her concern and drew her nearer to him. “It is okay, my love, I will always be near you to protect you…even from brown bears!” Hannah sighed a sigh of relief as the two lovers cradled in each others arms.